


Blind Love

by JasonMorganfan87



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depressed Sam, Episode: s05e03 Free to Be You and Me, Hurt/Comfort, Impaired Sam, M/M, Protective Gabriel, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-23 01:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 31,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7461843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasonMorganfan87/pseuds/JasonMorganfan87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after 'Free to Be You and Me.  Sam doesn't get away from the two hunters and is taken hostage and tortured.  Days later, after a particularly devastating injury and prays for help.  Gabriel answers the call and attemps to heal him, but finds himself unable to.  Can he instead help him learn to live what has happened and find a new normal?  And can love blossom between these two during this journey?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam found himself in a basement shackled to to a wall, beaten and bloody. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, days at least. Once Tim and Reggie got the drop on him after they tried to force demon blood down his throat, they decided on a new game. Instead of forcing him to drink and waste a bunch of demons, they decided to torture him to the brink for being the cause of everything that went wrong. So far he’d been beaten to the point that he was sure he had several cracked ribs, a broken wrist, a broken leg, as well as been stabbed, though not bad enough to kill him, in several places. 

Sam was at the point where he was wishing for death. Everything hurt so bad and he knew it wasn’t over. These men weren’t going to stop until they completely broke him, and he really couldn’t blame them. After starting the apocalypse, he felt he deserved what they did to him. But he couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted it to end.

Just then, Sam was assaulted by light as the door was opened and Tim and Reggie both walked. “Hey, there, Sam. Ready for some fun?” Tim asked with an evil smirk.

Sam cringed but didn’t speak. No matter how much he wanted to beg for this to stop, he wouldn’t do it. All it would do was egg them on even more anyway. He wouldn’t get mercy from these men. 

Within seconds, both men roughly pulled him up and started beating the crap out of Sam. Sam did his best not to scream, but like every other time this happened, it lasted mere moments. 

After at least a good five ten minutes, Sam was allowed to fall to the ground. He didn’t delude himself into thinking it was over, especially with the evil glints in eyes of both men. He got the feeling this time was going to be even worse than all the others.

Tim knelt down beside Sam and took a flask out of his pocket. “We’ve got a special surprise for you today. You know what this is?” he asked, indicating the flask. 

Sam gulped and screwed his mouth shut. He could only bet it was demon blood. They were gonna try to get him to drink again.

Tim seemed to guess what Sam was thinking because he laughed. “No, not that. This is acid with a little hint of holy oil.”

Sam felt his stomach drop. He didn’t want to think about all the horrible things they could do with such a concoction.

“You’re probably wondering about the holy oil. What could that do to you? Nothing really, but I hear you and that brother of your like to hang around with angels, though why angels would want anything to do with someone like you is beyond me. Anyway, we did some research, talked to some demons, and learned holy oil is kind of a weakness to angels. I’m thinking that when I pour this over your eyes, they won’t be able to heal you later,” he said cruelly.

Upon hearing what they were gonna do, Sam found a new sense of strength and started struggling in his bounds. Not that it helped much, especially because seconds later, Reggie came and held him down, forcing he to lay there helplessly as Tim forced his eyes wide open and poured the liquid over them.

Sam screamed louder than he ever had in his entire life. Then he did the only thing he could think of. He prayed.”

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Gabriel had heard Sam Winchester’s prayer loud and clear. He didn’t know why he decided to answer it. He had no reason to answer a prayer from the man who foolishly refused to heed his warning and helped start the end of the world. But he did. He went to Sam and what he saw shook him. The kid was on the ground while two men were torturing him for kicks.

Gabriel saw red in that moment. He’d seen some horrific things from humans and each time, he took great pleasure in punishing them in the most ironic and deserving way possible, but nothing he’d seen made him more angry or horrified than this did. He yanked both men up and away from their hostage. 

“Who the hell are you?” one asked.

Too furious to answer or even get adequate revenge, like he would when he went around as Loki, He brought a hand to each man’s forehead and smote them both instantly, not stopping until their eyes were completely burnt out.

Gabriel immediately went over to Sam and knelt down beside him.

“Who’s there?” Sam asked in a pained voice. The pain was excruciating, but he knew someone was there, as he’d heard the screams of his tormentors, and he needed to find out what had caused them and what it might do to him.

“It’s okay, kid. I’m gonna fix you up,” Gabriel said softly before placing a finger on the shackles and watching them dissolve like they’d never even been there.

Sam recognized the voice, but he was in too much pain to even attempt to place it.

Gabriel got right to work healing Sam’s injuries. He got the broken bones, lacerations and bruises with no problem, but as soon as he tried to heal his eyes, he found he couldn’t. He used a small amount of his Grace to try to find out why. The answer came immediately. Holy oil was used to cause this injury. There was nothing he or any other angel could do about it. “No! No, oh, Dad, don’t do this to me!”

“What’s… going on?” Sam stuttered through the pain.

“I’m sorry, Sammy,” Gabriel whispered. It wasn’t right. Gabriel may have been annoyed at the asinine choices Sam and his brother had made recently, but the man didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be blinded by a couple of psychos for something he was essentially manipulated into doing. 

“Oh, God, it hurts so much,” Sam groaned.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and teleported the two of them back to his place, putting Sam in his bed. He couldn’t heal Sam, but he could give him a comfortable place to rest and hopefully ease some of his pain.

Sam immediately felt himself laying on a soft comfortable surface instead of the cold, hard basement floor. “Where am I?”

“Hang on,” Gabriel said before placing a hand over Sam’s eyes and focussing on pain relief. “Does that feel any better?”

“Yes. Thank you,” Sam moaned. It still hurt, but it was nowhere near as bad as it was before.

“Okay, you need to sleep.”

“Wait, who are you? Are you an angel?” Sam asked. He guessed the man was, only because he prayed. Although, he wasn’t sure why any angel other than Cas would come to him. 

“Later,” Gabriel said before placing two fingers on Sam’s forehead, instantly putting the man to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam woke up in darkness. He opened his eyes and was greeted with complete blackness. He only even knew his eyes were opened was because there was still some pain when he opened them, though not like last night. Honestly, he almost wished for the unbearable pain. At least then he would be distracted from the fact that he was blind. He would never see anything ever again. That crushed him. How was he supposed to live like this? How could he even protect himself? He was a hunter. He had enemies all over the place that were hard enough to handle with all of his senses. What was he supposed to do?

Sam suddenly heard the door open and stiffened. He suddenly remembered the person, or angel, whatever it was, that rescued him. Well, it wasn’t like he actually forgot, but he’d been too overwhelmed by the realization that he was blind to think about. 

“Morning.” 

“Is it?” Sam couldn’t help but bitterly reply. “Who are you? I know your voice.”

“Yeah, you do,” he said before taking a few stops forward.

Sam could only inch away as the man walked towards him. At least he hoped he was inching away. For all he knew, he was inching closer to danger.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Who are you?” Sam asked again.

“My name is Gabriel,” he told him. He thought about lying, but Sam was vulnerably right now and needed someone to trust. Lying didn’t seem right.

Sam racked his brain to try to remember this guy, but he couldn’t. He didn’t think he’d ever known anyone named Gabriel. “I don’t know that name.”

“No, you didn’t know me by name. I was just the latest thing you were hunting,” Gabriel said.

Sam inched away again, knowing this man was an enemy. This also told him this thing wasn’t an angel, as he’d never hunted an angel before. Of course, if he wasn’t an angel, Sam had to wonder how he found him. “What are you?”

Gabriel smiled. “Well, let me put it this way. I’ve got a thing for justice and desserts.”

It all clicked within seconds. Justice and desserts. Just desserts. Then the voice clicked too. He knew exactly who this man was. “Trickster,” he spat.

“I knew it wouldn’t take much for you to figure it out,” Gabriel said.

“What do you want?” Sam asked, breathing heavily. He hated the Trickster. How could he not. He would never forget the hundreds of time the Trickster had made him live and relive his brother’s death over and over.

“Relax. Would I really save you just to do something to you now?” Gabriel asked.

“How should I know? You’re a twisted bastard! I have no idea how you think,” Sam said angrily before inching towards the end of the bed. He was not staying here with the Trickster. He needed to get the hell out of here.

“What are you doing? Sam, don’t get up,” Gabriel warned. The kid was in an unfamiliar environment with no sight. If he tried to walk right now, he would hurt himself.

“Screw you,” Sam said before standing up.

Gabriel watched as Sam took a couple of steps, heading right for the dresser. He grabbed him before he could fall.

Sam immediately started fighting against the arms that grabbed him, but the Trickster’s grip was strong, ironlike. He was getting nowhere. “Let go!”

“Enough! You’re going to hurt yourself like this,” Gabriel said.

“I don’t care! I’m not staying there with you!” Sam growled as he continued his futile efforts to get away.

Gabriel continued to hold the hunter tightly. “Yeah? How do you hope to get out of this room, let alone out of this house? And say you manage it. What will you do then? You don’t know where you are and you have no way of figuring it out. What are you gonna do? Walk aimlessly and hope you don’t run into a tree or a car?”

Sam stopped struggling as the realization of his situation hit him again. He was blind. How was he supposed to get out of here? He couldn’t even walk out the front door because he wouldn’t be able to find the front door. He was completely helpless.

Gabriel winced. He realized how blunt and cruel he sounded. “Sam, I’m sorry, but things are different for you now. You’re not gonna be able to do things the same way. You can’t just walk out of here.”

Sam slumped in complete defeat and bent his knees to slink to the floor.

Gabriel helped Sam back onto the bed so he could lay down. 

“If you want to leave, that’s fine. I’ll take you to your brother, but you’ll have to give me his number so I can call him,” Gabriel said. Dean was warded from angels just like Sam was. The only reason he’d been able to find Sam was because he’d prayed for help. Actually, Sam was lucky he’d gotten there first because any angel could’ve found him through his prayer.

Sam’s stomach dropped at the thought of his brother. He would give anything to be with his brother, especially now, but Dean wouldn’t want anything to do with him. Dean had let him leave, probably grateful to be rid of him, and he wouldn’t want him to come back now. He’d be nothing more than a burden to his brother now, and one he didn’t particularly like right now. “No. Just leave me at some motel or something.”

Gabriel frowned. He didn’t understand why Sam wouldn’t want to be with his brother. The last he knew, those two had been insanely close. That couldn’t really have changed could it. “Why don’t you want to see… be with your brother?”

“None of your business! Just leave me somewhere!” Sam snapped.

“No. I’m not gonna leave you alone like this,” Gabriel said.

“Why not? So I’m blind! What do you care about that. I'm just some insignificant human to you. Send me somewhere and you can be done with it. You can go back to screwing with people for amusement,” Sam sneered.

Gabriel wasn’t going to rise to the bait. “You have a choice, kid. We call your brother and I send you to him or your ass stays exactly where it is.”

“You can’t keep me here!” Sam yelled.

“Make a choice,” Gabriel said a firm tone.

Sam huffed angrily. He wished the Trickster would just leave him alone, dump him somewhere so he could just drown in his misery, but apparently the man wasn’t done torturing him. Well, he wasn’t going to force himself on Dean. He would only be more miserable knowing that he was burdening his brother. “Here! Now get out!”

Gabriel was surprised by the hunter’s response. He was sure Sam would choose to return to his brother when his only other option was stay there with him. Gabriel wanted to ask him what was going on, but he knew he wouldn’t get an answer. “Alright. Let me know if you need anything.”

Sam turned onto his side in an effort to dismiss the Trickster. It seemed to work as he soon heard the door closed. It was mere seconds after he left that the tears started to fall from Sam’s eyes


	3. Chapter 3

A couple of hours later, Gabriel was sitting in the living room with a drink in his hand listening to music. That was how he usually tried to calm himself, and boy did he need to calm himself. He’d felt nothing but rage since he rescued Sam. Well, rage and sympathy. He managed to quell the rage when he was around Sam, but away from him, all he could do was picture what those men did to him and it made him want to tear the house apart. Again. He’d already done so a couple of times after getting Sam out of that basement.

Gabriel had never imagined that that was what he’d find when he heard Sam’s prayer. He figured that he and his brother had gotten in over their heads with the the latest monster they were after and one of them was hurt worse than normal. For that reason, he should’ve ignored him. Well, that and the fact that he was peeved at both brothers for stupidly starting the end of the damned world. But something just wouldn’t let him ignore Sam, and he was grateful for that now. He doubted those bastards would’ve gotten the chance to kill him, as Gabriel’s brothers would’ve responded to the prayer, but who knew what they would do to him if they realized he was blind and unhealable. To them, all Sam was was a vessel for Lucifer, and with him blind, that wasn’t an option. There was no way Lucifer would take a blind vessel. That was probably the only silver lining to this whole thing. Not that Sam would see it that way. 

Gabriel had to wonder how Sam got caught by the men. Where the hell was Dean? Why wasn’t he there to watch out for his brother, like he always had been in the past? And why didn’t Sam want to return to his brother. When given a choice, Sam had opted to stay with him, someone he hated, rather than go back to Dean. Why was that?

Gabriel was cut from his thoughts by the sound of movement upstairs. He immediately got up and headed that way, knowing that Sam would likely get hurt if he was moving around up there, as he had no clue what he was doing.

Sure enough, the second Gabriel got upstairs, he saw Sam knock into a wall and land on the floor. He immediately went to help him up. “What part of ‘call if you need anything’ did you misinterpret?”

“I don’t need anything from you,” Sam spat as he tried to pull away. He wasn’t asking the Trickster for anything, not even help getting to the bathroom. He didn’t know what game the Trickster was trying to pull on him, but he knew he couldn’t be trusted.

Gabriel didn’t let Sam pull away and instead firmly led him down the hall. “I can only assume you’re looking for the bathroom.”

Sam merely grunted in response, but he stopped trying to pull away. 

Gabriel led Sam into the bathroom and turned on the light before moving him to the toilet and positioning him in front of it. “You’re right in front of the toilet. I’ll wait outside.”

“I...I wanna take a shower too,” Sam said somewhat reluctantly. Again, he didn’t want to ask the Trickster for anything, but since he was already there in the bathroom, he figured he might as well. He really wanted a shower. It had been at least a few days.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and a towel as well as fresh clothes appeared on top of the sink. Then he went over to the tub and turned the water on. He snapped his fingers again to make shampoo and soap appear on the edge of the tub. As an archangel, he didn’t need to bathe, so there was no reason to have those things handy. “Okay, the tub is right next to you. There’s shampoo and soap that will be on your right when you get in. There are three shower nozzles. The two on the ends adjust the temperature. When you’re done, turn them both outward to shut the water off. There’s a towel and a pair of clothes waiting on the sink when you’re done. If you have problems, let me know.”

“Thank you,” Sam said somewhat grudgingly. 

Gabriel quickly left to give the hunter some privacy. He didn’t go far though. He waited just outside the door, knowing that Sam would once again try and fail to find his own way around instead of asking for help.

It was about a half hour before Gabriel heard the water shut off. He wasn’t surprised Sam was in there so long. It had to have been a while since he was allowed the luxury of bathing, plus, he was fumbling around in darkness. That couldn’t be easy.

About ten to fifteen minutes later, Sam came out. It had taken him a while to get dressed. Apparently it just wasn’t so easy when you were suddenly blind. Luckily, it was just a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, so it wasn’t as hard as it could’ve been.

“You good?” Gabriel asked.

Sam jumped a bit. He hadn’t expected the Trickster to be waiting when he got out. “Don’t do that, man. I didn’t think you’d be waiting.”

“Well, if I hadn’t been, you would’ve tried to get back on your own,” Gabriel said before taking the man by the arm.

“Don’t need your help,” Sam grumbled.

“No, you don’t want my help, but you sure as hell need it. What now? You can come downstairs if you’d like. You don’t have to stay curled up in the bedroom,” Gabriel told him. He doubted the kid would take him up on the offer though. For one, Sam didn’t like him, and for another, he probably wanted some more time alone to grieve the loss of his sight. While he didn’t want to encourage that too much, Sam did deserve some time to mourn the loss. 

“Bedroom,” Sam said shortly.

Gabriel wordlessly led the hunter back to the bedroom he’d been sleeping in and helped him back into bed. “I’m gonna get you something to eat. Any opinion?”

“I’m not hungry,” Sam said. Well, okay, that was a lie. He hadn’t had a real meal since before he was kidnapped. Tim and Reggie gave him enough to keep him alive, but it was never much. Honestly though, he didn’t really have a desire to eat. He was too miserable.

“Well, I’m gonna get you something anyway. You can decide to eat it or not,” Gabriel said.

“Why are you doing this?” Sam asked. He really wanted to know what the game was. This was the Trickster for crying out loud. He had to want something.

“Honestly, kid, I’m not sure, but I am,” Gabriel said.

“Yeah, right. You’re the Trickster. You’re not gonna help me for nothing,” Sam sneered.

“You don’t know anything about me, Sam,” Gabriel said in a warning tone. 

“Sure I do. I know you like to toy with people. You kill people. I know you killed those hunters,” Sam said. He didn’t need to see it to know Tim and Reggie were dead. He’d heard their screams.

Gabriel huffed angrily. “You’re damn right I killed them! They’re lucky I was too pissed off to do something worse than kill them. You’re really going to judge me for killing two animals who tortured you and blinded you?”

“They were still human, and I deserved it anyway,” Sam said. As bitter and miserable as he was after being blinded, he felt he deserved much worse. He started the apocalypse. People had died and still would die because he let Lucifer out. He deserved anything that happened to him.

If anything, Sam’s words made Gabriel even more angry. “You did not deserve it! What those assholes did to you was monstrous. No one deserves to have that happen to them! As for being human, you and your brother don’t give any other creature a pass for doing terrible things. Why should humans be any different. If you pour acid into a man’s eye sockets, you deserve to die,” he said in a tone that booked no room for argument.

Sam didn’t seem to have an argument anyway. He just looked away as if contemplating the words.

“I’m gonna go make you something to eat,” Gabriel said before quickly leaving the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean sat in Bobby’s kitchen on his phone. He was trying to get ahold of Sam. Again. Ever since Zachariah had sent him to the future to see what would happen, he decided that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all for him and Sam to separate. He needed to keep an eye on his little brother and make sure he never said ‘yes’ to Lucifer.

It had come as a shock for Dean to learn that Sam was Lucifer’s vessel. He had no idea and neither did Cas, Cas, however, had thought it made sense seeing as Lucifer and Michael were brothers, as were Dean and Sam. To him, it made complete sense. Dean didn’t care much for the symmetry, but it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that two asshole angels wanted to use them as meat suits and there was no way in hell Dean would let that happen. Hence again why he was trying to get in touch with Sam. At the very least, Sam needed to know he was Lucifer’s vessel. 

Unfortunately, Sam wasn’t answering his phone at all. Today was no exception. It didn’t even ring, just went straight to voicemail. telling Dean that it was either dead or Sam had shut it off. Either way, it pissed Dean off. “Alright, Sam, you know what? This is the last message I’m leaving for you. I get it, you don’t wanna talk to me. Well, we’ve got a freaking apocalypse on our wands, and whether you wanna fight or not, you at least need to know what’s going on. So give me a call when you pull your head out of your ass!” he snapped before hanging up.

“You really blame him for not answering?”

Dean turned to see Bobby sitting in his chair in the doorway. He immediately glared at the hunter. “Bite me, Bobby. He chose to leave.”

“You didn’t stop him though, did you? You ever think maybe that’s what he wanted? For you to stop him, let him know you don’t hate him?” Bobby asked. He never agreed with that separation. Sam’s reasons may have been valid, but he doubted they were his only reasons. A big reason Sam left was because he didn’t feel wanted. That was what Sam did. When he felt unworthy or unloved, he took off.

“Hey, I don’t hate my brother! Don’t ever say that!” Dean growled.

“That’s not what I said, you idjit. I said that’s what he thinks,” Bobby said as he came closer. “Can’t blame him for thinking it. You weren’t exactly happy with him and then you told him to go.”

“After he brought it up,” Dean argued. This was not his fault. Sam chose to go. Yeah, okay, Dean didn’t stop him, but he had a good reason not to. It was like he told Sam. He worried too much over him when he was there, and that was especially true now when pretty much all his trust for him was gone. But now with Sam being Lucifer’s vessel and seeing that he says yes in the future, he realized that it wasn’t better for them to be apart. “And if you haven’t figured it out, I am trying to get ahold of him.”

“A little late,” was all Bobby said.

“Alright, you know what? I think I should head out today,” Dean said irritably.

“Don’t like a little truth. I love you Dean, but you were wrong to let him go, and he was wrong to go. But since you’re already gearing to go, I’ve got a job,” Bobby said.

“Yeah?” Dean asked. Now that was what he needed. He needed to get out and hunt. 

“Yeah. Remember I told you I sent a few hunters up to take care of the demon problem Sam called about?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah. Tim, Reggie, and Steve. Dad worked with them a few times. Sorry to hear Steve didn’t make it, but what’s with the recap?” Dean asked.

“Tim and Reggie are dead now too. My FBI alias was listed as a contact, so they called me,” Bobby said sadly.

Dean paled. “Does this have to do with that case. Do you think Sam might be hurt?”

“No, it doesn’t seem to be connected. For one, Tim called and told me that case was completed with no problem. He even told me Sam had decided to move on from Oklahoma. For another, they were both found in Reggie’s basement with their eyes burnt out. It didn’t seem at all connected to demons.”

“Son of a bitch,” Dean cursed. 

“Obviously this is personal. I was thinking you could head down and take a look. These were good men. I want whatever did this iced.” Bobby said a low, firm tone.

“Yeah, you got it, Bobby. Nothing gets to kill a hunter and walk away,” Dean agreed. He too was outraged. Not only were they hunters, but he knew them growing up. His dad first introduced them to him and Sam when he was fourteen. They weren’t close like they were with Bobby, but both these men had always been friendly to them and they’d helped their dad with a number of hunts. “Anything else I should know?”

“All I know is they were killed in the basement and there was no sign of forced entry. But in our line of work, their wouldn’t be,” Bobby said.

“You don’t know what they were working on? No one called you about their alias’? Besides to let you know they were dead, I mean?” Dean asked.

“No. Last I heard of them was when they finished that case by Sam,” Bobby said.

Something in the pit of Dean’s stomach made him worry about his brother, despite the fact that Bobby assured him there was no evidence that linked this to the case with his brother, especially given the lack of response he was getting from him. He pushed it down though, telling himself that he was worrying over nothing that Sam was fine elsewhere, not answering because he didn’t want to. “Alright, I’ll take a shower and then head out.”

Bobby nodded.

Dean quickly got up and headed upstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel was once again helping Sam walk after taking his shower, as he had been every day since he brought Sam home with him. This time though, he didn’t lead him back to the bedroom. He led him towards the stairs. It was time for him to stop moping. He’d had enough time to be miserable. Any more of that was unhealthy. 

“Where are we going?” Sam asked. He’d memorized the steps and direction they took from the bathroom to the bedroom. This was not the way. The Trickster had taken a right instead of walking straight all the way. 

“Downstairs,” was all Gabriel said.

Sam stopped walking and started to pull away. “I don’t want to go downstairs.”

Gabriel held onto him firmly. “Too bad. You can’t stay holed up in that room forever. You need to learn to live with your disability.”

“I am living with it!” Sam yelled.

“No, you’re wallowing in it, which was fine for for the first couple of days, but now it’s time to start dealing with it. Now, come on,” Gabriel said before pulling him along again.

Sam unhappily went with it. He knew the Trickster could force him to, especially in his current condition. 

“Okay, we’re at the stairs. Keep stepping down until I tell you to stop,” Gabriel instructed.

Sam did so, counting each step as he went down. He counted about fourteen steps before he was pretty sure he hit the last one. Even without your sight, that was the kind of thing you could just tell sometimes.

“Alright, we’re on the ground. You can walk normally,” Gabriel said before leading him around the corner through the kitchen and into the dining room. He immediately pulled a chair out and positioned Sam in front of it. “You’ve got a chair right behind you. You can sit down.”

Sam sat down and relaxed. He didn’t like being led around like that. The lack of control didn’t sit well with him at all, especially when the person leading him was someone he didn’t trust. He supposed he’d have to get over that though. He was blind. There was always going to be some kind of loss of control for him.

“Alright, wait there. I’m gonna make us some breakfast,” Gabriel said.

“Can’t you just create that kind of stuff?” Sam asked. He’d seen the Trickster create things with no effort whatsoever, and he knew that was a power Tricksters had anyway.

“I could, but I like to cook. It tastes better most of the time,” Gabriel said before walking from the dining room into the kitchen. He did however snap up the ingredients he’d need to start breakfast. “Blueberry or chocolate chip pancakes, Sammy.”

“Blueberry and don’t call me that,” Sam said shortly. Only Dean was allowed to call him ‘Sammy’. Of course the thought of Dean made his heart sink. He missed his brother. He wished he could see him again. Though that was impossible even if he was with Dean again. He would settle just for being with his brother, but he knew that couldn’t happen either. Dean didn’t want around and he couldn’t blame him. Dean was tired of cleaning up his messes. And Sam wouldn’t make him clean up another one. Dean deserved to live his life, not be forced with his disabled, screw-up brother.

“Sure thing, Sammy,” Gabriel said with a smirk.

Sam did nothing but huff in response.

There was silence between the two as Gabriel cooked and Sam sat at the table waiting. Soon enough, breakfast was done. Gabriel fixed up two plates, cutting Sam’s food up for him so he wouldn’t have to fumble around with a knife, and brought it over to the table. He put a plate in front of Sam and one in front of his own seat before sitting down. 

Sam fumbled around for the fork, finding it after just a second.

“It’s all cut up, so go for it,” Gabriel said.

Sam grunted. “I’m not a child. I could’ve done it myself.”

“Yeah, and, you’ll work on that, but for now, just eat,” Gabriel said.

Sam brought the food up to his mouth. He missed it a couple of times, biting air instead, but after a couple of tries, he got it. “So how long are you planning to keep me here?”

“I’m not keeping you here. I gave you a choice and you made it,” Gabriel said simply. 

“What do you care if I’m with Dean or alone somewhere?” Sam asked.

“I care because I’m not bastard enough to leave you alone with no knowledge of how care for yourself with your disability,” Gabriel said. If Sam wanted to leave after he learned how to cope in life with his disability, he’d take him wherever he wanted, but until then, he needed help. If he didn’t want Dean help, he would take Gabriel’s, whether he liked it or not.

“Yeah, spoken from the asshole who killed my brother over and over,” Sam said in disdain.

Gabriel shook his head in frustration. “You still haven’t learned. Even after recent events, you still haven’t gotten it through your damn skull what I was trying to do.”

“And what’s that?” Sam asked angrily. 

“Think about it, moron! What happened when Dean went to Hell? You teamed up with demon filth. You drank their toxic blood, all for revenge. How did it end?”

“What are you saying? You knew what was going to happen? You knew I would start the apocalypse?” Sam asked.

“Finally! Using your Stanford brain,” Gabriel said before taking a bite of his pancakes.

“Why didn’t you tell me then?! Would that really have been less effective than teaching me my ‘lesson’ Sam asked, even more angry now than before. All of this could’ve been avoided if the Trickster just told him the truth.

“Yes, it would’ve because you wouldn’t have believed it. Come on, I tell you that angels were real and wanted to start the apocalypse, you would’ve called me a liar,” Gabriel said.

Sam calmed down a little. He wasn’t wrong. He would’ve wanted to believe the angels were real part, but he would’ve denied the notion that they were such dicks that they wanted to start the end of the world at that point. It took actually seeing how angels were to believe that. “Okay, you’re right.”

“Hmm. All I wanted was for you to learn to move on without your brother. I hoped that preparing you for how it would be would help you accept it and you’d let him go without going to the first demon you saw. Clearly that worked great,” Gabriel said sarcastically.

“Yeah, I know! I know I screwed up! More of a reason for you to just dump me somewhere,” Sam said, mumbling the last part mostly to himself.

Gabriel sighed. “No. No matter what you’ve done, kid, you don’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve what those bastards did to you.”

“Yes, I did. I let Lucifer out. I’m no better than a demon,” Sam said guiltily.

“That’s not true. You are very different from demons. For one, you feel remorse. Demons don’t. They don’t care about hurting people. In fact, they get off on it. You made a bunch of dumbass mistakes, but they weren’t evil. You had good intentions,” Gabriel said.

“Don’t they say that’s how the road to Hell is paved?” Sam asked.

Gabriel sighed. “You didn’t deserve this, Sam. I’ll get you to see that.”

“Whatever,” Sam said before going back to his food.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, Dean found himself following a detective into the morgue. He’d arrived in Tennessee, where Tim and Reggie were killed, late the night before, but decided to rest up take the case in in the morning. Hence, now he was going to check out the crime scene. 

“I gotta warn you Agent Carver, this is gonna be a gruesome sight,” the detective said.

“Eh, you’d be surprised at the kind of things I’ve seen,” Dean said.

The detective chuckled as they walked. “Yeah, I’ve seen some stuff too, but this is bad. I don’t even know what to make of the injuries those men suffered, and that’s not even the half of what went on down in that basement.”

Dean was about to ask what he meant when they walked into a room where the coroner was waiting.

“Hey, Jake,” the doctor said.

“Hi, Joe. This is Special Agent Carver. Agent, this is Doctor Kirk, our coroner,’ the detective introduced. 

Dean briefly shook his hand. “You too. I can only guess you’re here for the two with the lack of eyes and liquidated organs.”

“How’d you guess?” Dean asked sarcastically.

“Over here,” Doctor Kirk said before leading the way over to one of the drawers against the wall and pulling one of them open and revealing a dead man on a slab.

Dean recognized the dead man as Tim. He also recognized the manner of murder. He didn’t know what he didn’t think about it when Bobby explained it. He’d seen a person’s eyes burned out of their skull before. It was how angels smote their victims. Though calling them victims was a stretch. The ones Dean had seen at least weren’t innocent. They were demons who deserved what they got. Tim and Reggie, however, were victims. They were hunters and these angel dicks killed them.

“Like I said, gruesome. I’ve never seen anything like it,” the detective said.

“Me either,” Dean lied. “So what did you mean when you said this wasn’t the half of it?”

The detective sighed. “Look, I didn’t wanna mention this to your boss. I didn’t think he’d take it well, as he knew the victims, and I’m not sure how well you’ll take it either, but you need to know. Whatever happened in that basement, I’m not so sure these men were innocent in it.”

Dean glared at the man a bit. “What the hell does that mean? They had their freaking eyes burnt out!”

“I’m not saying they deserved it, but something sinister was going on down there. That basement was a bloodbath and the blood wasn’t all theirs,” he said.

“There’s another victim?” Dean asked.

“Well, we didn’t find another body, but we did find another blood type down there. We don’t know who it belongs to yet, but there was a substantial amount. We also found rags and a knife with that same blood type and your friends’ fingerprints on them,” the detective explained.

Grudgingly, Dean could understand why the detective came to the conclusion he did. He had no idea Tim and Reggie were hunters and were probably torturing a demon down there or something.

“Do you wanna see the other body,” Doctor Kirk asked.

“No, I’ve seen enough,” Dean said before walking towards the door.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

About an hour later, Dean was seated in his car outside the police station with Castiel. He’d called the angel and asked to meet him the second he was alone.

“You’re sure?” Castiel asked after hearing that angels had apparently murdered two hunters.

“Yeah, Cas, I’m sure. Your freaking buddies are going around murdering hunters,” Dean growled. He knew it wasn’t Cas’ fault this was happening, but he was ticked off and Cas was the only angel he could vent to.

“I cannot understand that. Angels rarely harm random humans intentionally like that. Many don’t mind casualties, but what you are describing is intentional murder,” Castiel said. He was very confused with this. Why would his brothers smite two hunters that were insignificant to them. 

Dean snorted. “Yeah? So giving me stomach cancer and breaking Sam’s legs doesn’t count as intentional harm?”

“I did say it rarely happens. They’ll do it if it serves a purpose, such as trying you to get to submit to michael, but killing these men served none that I can see.,” Castiel said.

“Maybe they’re trying to draw me out? Is that possible? I mean, I’ve known these guys for years. They hunted with my dad.”

“I suppose it’s possible, but it seems unlikely. They had no way of knowing you would respond. I’d have to think they’d be more creative than this. Still, you may wish to leave,” Castiel said.

Dean shook his head. “No. I’m not going anywhere until I find out what happened. These guys didn’t deserve this, especially if it was done just as a way to get to me. Those dicks are gonna pay for this,” he said before getting out of the car without another word.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Dean was standing in the police station, waiting by the desk of the detective he was working with. There wasn’t much more he could learn from the cops, but he could at least find out who that other blood belonged to. He wasn’t sure how much that would help, but maybe it could. He’d learned as a hunter that any information was important when working a case. 

Soon, an officer walked over. “Where’s Detective Stevens?”

“Not sure. Waiting on him,” Dean said.

“You’re the agent working with him, right?”

Dean nodded. 

“Good, then I can give this to you. It’s the DNA he was looking at. Of course, I’m not sure how it’s possible. It belongs to a dead guy,” the officer said before holding the folder out.

“I’ll make sure he gets it,” Dean said before taking the file. He waited until the officer left before opening it. He would swear his stomach plummeted down from the roof of a five story building when he saw the photo of the man they’d matched the blood to. It was Sam. Those hunters had been torturing his brother.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean had his phone pressed to his ear as he got out of his car and headed towards Reggie’s house. He hadn’t stopped calling Sam’s phone since seeing that file. He needed Sam to answer. He didn’t him to tell him he was okay, that that file was wrong. It was just a trick that demons or angels set up to screw with him. 

Sam’s voicemail came immediately, just as it had every other time he called, and each time, Dean’s hope sank more and more. Sam wasn’t going to answer because he was in trouble or… Well, he wasn’t even going to think the ‘or’. It wasn’t an option.

Dean entered the small house and found himself in the living room. It looked like the typical hunter place. There wasn’t much there. A small beat up couch, a coffee table covered in books, and a small TV on a stand opposite the couch. 

Dean walked through the living room towards the kitchen. Right before the kitchen was a doorway sealed off with police tape, telling him right away that it was the basement. He walked under the police tape and down the stairs, flipping the light switch on his way down. 

Dean gagged at the smell. All he could smell was blood, and it wasn’t a good odor. He could see it too. Dry blood stained the floor and the far wall. Dean couldn’t help but picture his brother chained to that wall, bloody from the torture they inflicted on him. And Dean knew it was Sam they were torturing. It wasn’t some demon in his body, not that that would make him feel any better because Sam still would’ve felt it, but he knew it wasn’t like that. He knew because they took precautions against demonic possession. If Sam truly had been here, and Dean was still holding onto a sliver of hope that he wasn’t, then these guys had targeted him.

Dean walked back upstairs after a minute, unable to stomach being down there another minute. It wasn’t really the smell, though that wasn’t pretty. It was the images of his brother being tortured down there. 

He went up and walked back into the living room and glanced around the room. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, maybe just something to tell him for sure whether or not Sam had been there. He was about to check the rest of the house when he saw it. Something had been kicked under the couch. He immediately went over, knelt down, and picked it up. It was a cellphone that looked a lot like his brother’s.

“A lot of people have the same kind of phone,” Dean told himself before turning it on. All his hopes were dashed the second he got a look on the screen. There were dozens of alerts of voicemails, all with his name on them. There was no doubt that this was Sam’s phone.

“No!” Dean yelled before throwing the phone against the wall, smashing it to pieces. “No, Sammy.

Dean paced the room as fear and complete horror took over his brain. His brother had been kidnapped and tormented by these men, men he thought he could trust. Where was he now? Was he okay? What kind of crap did those assholes put him through.

Dean knew only one way to get any of those answers. He called Cas and told him where he was. An angel had killed Tim and Reggie. It stood to reason that angel had something to do with what happened to Sam.

Castiel showed up seconds after Dean relayed his whereabouts “What did you need, Dean?”

“Find my brother,” Dean practically ordered. 

Castiel frowned. “Dean, you know that Sam is as protected from angels as you are. I cannot find him.”

“Well someone did! The angel who killed those hunters took Sam,” Dean said confidently. It was too much of a coincidence. They killed Tim and Reggie. They had to have taken Sam too. 

“I don’t understand why you’d come to that conclusion,” Castiel said.

Dean quickly explained everything he’d learned since the last time they spoken. “An angel must have found out where he was. That’s why they killed the SOBs. They found them here torturing Sam.”

“Why would these men want to harm Sam. I thought you said they were friends of your family,” Castiel said.

“I thought they were too. They must have found out that he released Lucifer or something and went after him. They’re lucky they’re dead!” Dean growled. He wished they weren’t dead. He wished they were alive so he could end them himself, and not the merciful way the dick angels had done it. He would’ve done it slowly. He would’ve at the very least done to them what they did to his little brother before he killed them.

“I can’t fathom how an angel could’ve found Sam here, unless he prayed,” Castiel said.. When someone prayed, all angels heard it, and if Sam prayed, they would be able to find him very easy. His only hope then would be if he left the area immediately, which was impossible unless he had supernatural means of travel.

“You would’ve heard him too if he prayed,” Dean said.

Castiel looked at Dean hesitantly. “Yes, but unless he prayed to me specifically, I wouldn’t have differentiated him from any other human.”

“What?” Dean asked confused.

“Angels get billions of prayers a day. We’re taught to ignore them.”

“You ignored my brother?” Dean asked as his temper began to rise. 

“Not intentionally. I wouldn’t have known it was him. Angels can tell who a prayer is from if they focus on it, but we’re taught not to. We’re taught to disregard. The exception is archangels and a few seraphs. They are better able to store knowledge. They’d know instantly who is praying and from where. I don’t. I wouldn’t even try to figure it out unless I was prayed to specifically or I attuned myself to their prayers,” Castiel explained.

“Attuned?” Dean asked.

“Yes, such as I have with yours. I will know whenever you pray the second it happens because I’ve attuned myself to them,” he said.

“But not to Sam’s,” Dean said with anger in his voice. 

“No, I never attuned myself to Sam’s prayers,” Castiel admitted.

“Why? What, Sam’s not deserving of having his prayers answered?” Dean asked, becoming more and more heated by the second. Cas had basically just told him Sam’s possible pleas for help went on deaf ears.

“You were my mission, he wasn’t,” Castiel stated.

“No, I’m not buying that! Tell it how it is, Cas. I was the Righteous Man and he was the boy with demon blood,” Dean sneered. That was what Cas had called Sam when they met. That was what it came down to. Cas didn’t think Sam deserved to be saved and that pissed him off. Because no one believed in angels and God the way Sam always had. No one tried to be good as much as he did. He didn’t deserve to be forsaken like this. 

“It is not the way you are implying,” Castiel said.

“Yeah, I think it is. You didn’t even bother to ‘attune’ to him after you found out Lucifer wanted him as a vessel, even though you knew that put him at risk! You screwed him over. So did I,” Dean said. He was beyond pissed at Cas for not doing something to help Sam, for disregarding him, but Dean knew he was just as much to blame, if not more so. He let Sam go. He didn’t protect him. Not to mention all the crap he blamed him for even before he went. He acted like Sam wasn’t good enough too. “Get out.”

“I will try to locate, Sam,” Cas promised before leaving.

Dean walked backwards to the couch and practically fell into it. He dropped his head into his hands as tears began to fall. “God, Sammy, I’m so sorry.”


	8. Chapter 8

Gabriel approached Sam as he screamed from a nightmare. It had been almost a nightly occurrence for Sam. It was understandable. Sam had gone through hell in that basement. Gabriel didn’t know all of it, but he’d seen enough when he found him to know that the kid had been in his own personal hell for days, if not longer. It made sense that he’d have nightmares.

Usually, Gabriel would take Sam’s nightmares away as soon as he heard him screaming. He knew nightmares were a way of getting through things, but the kid had suffered enough. He didn’t need to relive it all in his head every night. Tonight, however, when he went to touch him, Sam bolted awake. 

“No! Get away from me!” Sam screamed as he started flailing to get away.

Gabriel held Sam down on the bed tightly. “Hey, it’s okay, Sam. It’s Gabriel. You’re okay. You’re not there anymore.”

Sam started to come down a bit as he listened to the Trickster’s words. He felt like they shouldn’t relax him, but they did. Being there with the Trickster was better than being in that basement. Anything was.

Gabriel slowly let go of the hunter when he saw that he was calming. “You alright?”

“Yeah. Sorry for waking you,” Sam said.

“You didn’t. I don’t sleep,” Gabriel told him.

“Oh. Well, sorry for disturbing you. You can go now,” Sam said. He actually wasn’t trying to be rude. He just hated that someone saw him like this, so weak he couldn’t handle his own nightmares. It was bad enough that he felt weak and helpless even before this, unable to even make it out of the room without assistance. He didn’t need this too.

“There’s nothing wrong with having nightmares, Sam. It doesn’t make you weak,” Gabriel said, easily figuring out what the hunter was thinking.

Sam almost snorted at the way the Trickster seemed to know what he was thinking. Then it occurred to him, maybe he did. “Can you read my mind?”

“I can, but I’m not now. Your face and voice gave away what you were thinking. Nightmares are normal for people who have gone through what you have. It was an incredible trauma. I’d be worried if you didn’t have some kind of issue with it,” Gabriel said.

“I guess. Um, thanks for saving me from them,” Sam said. He’d been too angry to be thankful earlier, well, except for the initial gratitude he’d showed the first night, before he knew exactly who had saved him. All he could feel towards him was hatred for what he did to Dean. That anger had started to wear off some. He still didn’t like the Trickster, or Gabriel. He should probably start thinking of him as Gabriel since that was his name. He still didn’t like him or what he did to Dean, but he understood much better now. In a very twisted and cruel way, Gabriel was trying to help. He just wanted Sam to find another way to learn to let Dean go, to not go down the revenge path. Again, Sam still didn’t like him, but he could at least admit that Gabriel wasn’t as bad as some other things Sam had dealt with. 

“Your welcome,” Gabriel said.

“I still don’t get why you did it,” Sam said.

“Because you don’t think you deserved to be saved?” Gabriel asked with a sigh.

“That and the fact that you can’t think much of me. I released the Devil from his cage and started the apocalypse, something you were trying to prevent. Why would you care enough to help me?” Sam asked.

“I told you, nothing you did makes you deserving of what those dicks did to you. Yeah, you were an idiot for trusting a demon and going so far off the rails as to drink her blood. Hell, I was so pissed, both at you and your brother, that should the opportunity have presented itself, I would’ve forced the two of you to finish what you started,” Gabriel told him.

“You mean the apocalypse? You wanted to make us say yes?” Sam asked in disbelief. Yeah, he knew he was Lucifer’s vessel. As if the torture in that basement wasn’t enough, Lucifer had come into his dreams. He had even before that, but he didn’t really know it until the torture began. Then he told him he was his vessel.

“Yep. There didn’t seem to be a way to stop it, so I figured we might as well end it quickly,” Gabriel said. Of course it was more complicated than that, but it was a long story that Sam didn’t even know a quarter of.

“Is that even possible now?” Sam asked. He wasn’t sure what his blindness meant if Lucifer took over his body. Would Lucifer be able to see in his body. 

“Not the way they want it, no. An angel has all their powers in a vessel, but they can’t use a sense that’s not there. Now, normally, that wouldn’t actually be a problem. It would be a matter of healing the vessel. Unfortunately for Luci, your sight was destroyed by a mixture of acid and holy oil. It can’t be healed by any angel,” Gabriel explained.

“They were hoping for that. They did their research. I guess you have too. And I guess it doesn’t work for you either,” Sam said. He knew that Gabriel could heal. He’d healed all his other injuries, but couldn’t this one. That had to mean that the holy water affected his kind too.

Gabriel hesitated as he contemplated telling Sam. He’d never told anyone his secret before. It was called a secret for a reason. You don’t go around telling people. But Sam was in his home and he was asking the kid to trust him enough to depend on him for a while. That meant he couldn’t simply not lie to Sam. He had to tell him the truth. “The reason I couldn’t heal your eyes is because I’m an angel too.”

Sam’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

“You don’t have to worry. I have no intention of turning you over to Lucifer or any other angel,” Gabriel assured him.

“You’re an angel. Wait, your name is Gabriel. You’re an archangel,” Sam said as he thought back to everything he learned about angels as a child.

“You know your religion,” Gabriel commented.

“My father had a friend who was a pastor,” Sam said. Pastor Jim had always tried to teach him and his brother about God and angels. Dean never really paid attention, but he had. He always wanted to believe angels were real. “Cas never mentioned you though.”

“Not surprised. I haven’t been around for thousands of years. I left Heaven around the same time Lucifer was cast down,” Gabriel said. 

“Was that why?” Sam asked. He got the feeling that it was. He could tell just by Gabriel’s voice. This conversation wasn’t the happiest for him.

“It’s more complicated, but, yeah,” Gabriel said quietly.

Sam could tell he was upsetting the archangel, so he decided to change the subject just a little. “So that’s how you knew where I was. You heard my prayer.”

“Yeah. You’re lucky I came too. Every angel would’ve heard your prayer and found you, including Lucifer,” Gabriel said seriously. Not that he blamed Sam for praying. At that point, it was his only option. But it really could’ve ended badly for Sam. It was pure Luck that Gabriel answered first.

“I didn’t expect anyone to respond. It’s just something you do when you think you’re screwed. It didn’t occur to me that any angel could hear me. I could’ve become more screwed. So thanks for answering. 

“No problem. Well, you should go back to sleep. I’m gonna leave you alone.”

Sam nodded and soon afterwards heard the angels footsteps move away from him and presumably to the door.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean made it back to Bobby’s a few days later. He stuck around Tennessee for a bit to try to find some kind of sign of his brother since getting out of that basement. He knew it was pretty much useless, as it was pretty obvious that angels had taken his brother, but he kept trying to find something anyway. Walking away just didn’t seem right, but after days of nothing, there wasn’t really a choice.

Dean walked into Bobby’s house, depositing his bag temporarily by the door. Then he walked to the fridge and pulled a beer out. It was pretty early, but he didn’t care. His brother was missing and hurt, at least that was the best outcome Dean could imagine. He needed alcohol. 

Bobby wheeled his chair into the kitchen. “Hey. You get the SOB?”

“No,” was all Dean said before taking a large swig of his beer.

“Then what the hell are you doing here. There’s something out there killing hunters,” Bobby grumbled. He didn’t know what was up with Dean. He never left a job undone, and that was with people he didn’t even know. Now they were talking about hunters he’d known since he was a kid.

“They got what they deserved,” Dean said before walking over to the table and sitting down. “No, actually, they got off easy. They’re lucky someone else got to them before I did.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Bobby asked as he rolled his chair over towards the table.

Dean took another big sip of his beer and then put it on the table. “Sam hasn’t been ignoring my calls. He couldn’t answer because those bastards had him in the basement, torturing him!”

“What the hell would make you think that?” Bobby asked in disbelief.

“The police found his blood in the basement, a lot of it, and I found his phone, with all of my messages on it,” Dean said in a shaky voice. 

“What? They had him the whole time?” Bobby asked, his voice going from shock to fury. Those idiots had harmed his boy, because Sam was damn well his. He’d been a part of Sam and Dean’s lives practically since the beginning of their lives in the hunting business. He may as well have raised them himself, as he’d taken more care of them than their old man. Nobody hurt his boys without paying for it. Dean was right, they got off easy. 

Dean nodded. 

“Well what the hell happened to him. Where is he? I know you wouldn’t just leave until you figured that out,” Bobby said.

“Of course not. It was angels. They ‘rescued’ them,” Dean said.

Bobby sucked in a breath. “Are you sure it was angels?”

Dean nodded. “I’ve seen the method that was used to kill Tim and Reggie before. It’s how angels smite.”

“Balls!” Bobby cursed. “Alright, first things first. Do you know what happened to him with those two SOBs?”

Dean shook his head. “I don’t know what they did to him exactly, but… but that basement stunk of blood. It wasn’t from their deaths. It was from what they did to Sam.

Bobby could hear the turmoil in Dean’s voice. This was tearing the kid apart. It wasn’t just the pain and fear either, it was guilt as well. Bobby knew Dean was blaming himself for this, for not being there when his brother needed him. 

As if on cue, Dean chose that moment to admit the culpability he felt. “It’s my fault, Bobby. I left him to rot,” he said painfully before taking a sip of his beer. 

“Don’t you say that, boy! You didn’t know this would happen,” Bobby said firmly. 

“It doesn’t matter. I left him alone. I let him go. You told me yourself I was wrong for that,” Dean said. He didn’t see it as wrong before, even when Bobby said it, but now he did. He let Sam walk away and something horrible happened to him. Yeah, technically his brother chose to leave, but Sam wouldn’t have gone if he’d asked him not to. Dean knew that. All he had to do was be a good brother, let Sam know he had his back. Why couldn’t he have just done that? Why couldn’t he have just done his job?

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean what happened to him is on you. It ain’t your fault. It’s mine. I sent those bastards to him,” Bobby said. Yeah, he had his own guilt to wrestle with. He’d sent those hunters to Sam’s location. He may as well have handed his boy over to them. 

“No, Bobby. You had no way of knowing that they would hurt him. You were just sending hunters out to do a job. That’s what you do. I know you wouldn’t have done it if you knew something like this would happen,” Dean said. He didn’t blame Bobby. Bobby had trusted those men. Hell, Dean had trusted them until a few days ago. Bobby had no way of knowing what they would do to Sam.

“How did angels find him?” Bobby asked, deciding to let the subject of both their guilt drop for the moment. “I thought your angel buddy made it so they couldn’t find either of you.”

“Cas thinks Sam might have prayed for help,” Dean said

“But then Cas would’ve heard him,” Bobby said.

“No. Apparently angels, unless they’re archangels, can’t differentiate prayers unless they’re prayed to specifically or the angel is listening for that person’s prayers. Cas never listened to Sam’s,” Dean sneered. Yeah, he was still pissed at Cas for that. He should’ve been listening to Sam just as much as Dean. He didn’t because Sam apparently wasn’t good enough to listen to. “I bet those other SOBs were listening though.”

“We sure they got him? Maybe he got away from them?” Bobby asked. He knew he was kind of grasping at straws, but if there was a chance Sam got away, they had to consider it.

“After being tortured? I freaking doubt it. He’d have trouble doing it without help on a good day. No, he was weak and hurt. There’s no way he would’ve been able to stop them. No, Zachariah or one of the other dicks upstairs got him. Well, actually, that’s not the most likely scenario, but it the better one. The worse one is that the Devil got to him. He’s technically an angel. He would hear Sam too. And the two jackass hunters have nothing on him where torture is concerned,” Dean said with a shudder. This was all he could think about since finding out what happened to his brother. It was likely that his brother was still being tortured.

“Alright, we have to calm down. Look, we know he’s still alive. No matter which party has him, he’s alive. They need him. They won’t kill him,” Bobby said.

“There are worse things than death,” Dean said. He knew this personally. He’d spent forty years being tortured in hell. If he hadn’t already been dead, he would’ve wished for it. 

“We’ll find him, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “Damn right. I screwed Sam over once. Not again. I’m gonna get him back and then make sure he stays safe. I won’t abandon him again,” he vowed.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam made his way out of his room with a long white cane directly in front ot him to check for obstacles. Gabriel had got him a cane a few days ago and had been working with him on using it. It was hard for Sam at first, and not just because it was difficult to learn how to use it, though it was then and still was. It was hard because it really hit home that this was his reality. It wasn’t like he was in denial about it before. He knew he was blind and that that wasn’t ever going to stop being the case. But the cane made it clear on a whole new level. It was like a permanent, physical reminder.

Sam walked towards where the stairs would be. He’d been here long enough that he’d started memorizing the turns and number of steps to certain places, like the bathroom and the stairs.

Apparently Sam hadn’t perfected this though because with the next step he took, he tumbled down the flight of stairs, dropping his cane and hitting his head hard against the wooden floor.

Sam groaned as he picked his head up and brought his hand to the back of it, rubbing it gingerly. Then he heard footsteps, indicating that Gabriel had arrived.

“Damn it, Sam, what are you doing? You aren’t ready to start walking on your own yet, especially when stairs are involved,” Gabriel scolded before removing Sam’s hand from the back of his head and putting his own hand there, quickly healing the hunter.

“Thanks,” Sam said.

“I ought to have just let you deal with it for being so stupid,” Gabriel grumbled before walking a few feet to the side to pick up Sam’s cane.

Sam simply grunted in response.

“Hold out your hand, I’ve got your cane,” Gabriel said as he walked back over with the mentioned object. 

Sam did as he was told and soon felt the mentioned object being pressed into his hand. Once he had it, he pressed it to the ground and started making his way towards the kitchen. 

“Look, kid, I know you’re anxious to get out of here, but you’re going to have to be more patient and take your time,” Gabriel said.

“It’s not that. I just don’t like feeling so vulnerable. Besides, you shouldn’t have to waste your time taking care of me,” Sam said quietly as he kept walked through the kitchen and dining room and to the living room. He felt around with his cane until he hit something solid. He leant down and felt the area, his hand coming in contact with something cushiony, telling him it was one of the two couches he knew were in the living room. He immediately sat down and placed his cane on the floor.

Gabriel sat next to him. “Sam, don’t worry about me wasting my time. I’ve been alive since Time was even a thing, and baring my flesh connecting with an archangel blade, I will be alive when it stops being a thing. I’ve got more time than you can dream of. Helping you out is not a problem.”

Sam nodded and looked away from the direction of Gabriel’s voice.

“Tell me, Sam, is this why you don’t want to go back to your brother? You don’t want him to have to take care of you?” Gabriel asked. He hadn’t pushed much the entire time Sam was there, but he wanted to know now. What had driven Sam to the point where he didn’t want to see his brother.

Sam flinched slightly at the question. 

“I gotta say, kid, I was shocked when you said you’d rather stay here than go home to your brother. What, are you trying to spare him?” Gabriel asked.

Sam nodded after a minute. “He’d feel obligated to take care of me and I can’t let him. He’ll hate me for it.”

“I find that hard to believe. I know how close you were. Sam, you should at least let him know you’re alright? Let him stop worrying,” Gabriel said.

“He’s not worrying,” Sam said.

“Sure he is. You were kidnapped. He’s probably going out of his mind thinking Luci or one of my other asshat siblings did it,” he said.

“No, he’s not. He doesn’t know I was kidnapped. I wasn’t with him. I was by myself working in a bar in Oklahoma,” Sam said.

“Well, where was he?” Gabriel asked.

“I don’t know. We decided to go separate ways,” Sam said.

Gabriel’s features darkened as he began to get a good picture of what happened. The little asshole abandoned Sam because he made a mistake. He left him alone to be abducted and tortured. “He ditched you.”

“No, it was my idea. I couldn’t trust myself to hunt. I thought I should stop for a while, so I told Dean I wanted to go my separate ways. It was my choice. But I thought he’d…” Sam trailed off, unable to make himself finish. 

“You thought he’d stop you,” Gabriel finished for him.

Sam nodded. “But he said I was right. He basically said that he was better off without me. He said he spent too much time worrying about me when we were on a job. He’s also made it clear he doesn’t trust me.”

Gabriel was very glad Dean Winchester wasn’t in front of him right now because if was very likely that he would smite him if he was. What right did that muttonhead have to act so holier than thou. He wasn’t perfect. He made dumbass mistakes, but no one abandoned him because of it. And true, it seemed Dean didn’t exactly abandon Sam, but he might as well have. He might as well have told him to go. 

“I don’t blame him. He’s right not to trust me,” Sam said before rubbing his eyes, willing the tears not to fall.

“You were manipulated. Yeah, you screwed up, but who the hell is he to judge that? Like he’s never done anything stupid? You don’t give up on your brother just because he makes a mistake!” Gabriel growled.

“I trusted a demon over him. That’s not exactly an everyday mistake, Gabriel. Look, he doesn’t want me around and I can’t blame him. I won’t force myself on him and I won’t tell him what happened. If he knew, he’d take care of me because it’s what he’s supposed to do, but I don’t want that,” Sam said.

“Sam…”

“Just drop it! I don’t wanna talk about it anymore,” Sam said firmly.

Gabriel sighed. “Alright. What do you say we get some breakfast?”

“Okay,” Sam said before grabbing his cane and standing up.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam was laying on the couch listening to music off the the smartphone Gabriel had gotten him. He hadn’t really been happy about accepting such a gift, but as Gabriel had thrust it into his hands and refused to take it back. Besides there wasn’t much else he could do. He couldn’t even read anymore, which caused him a lot of bitterness. Reading was something he always loved to do. Now he had to learn to do it all over again a different way. Gabriel had gotten him several books in Braille and was teaching him how to read that way, but it was a very slow process. 

Sam suddenly felt a tap on his arm that made him flinch. He had earbuds in, so he couldn’t hear anything other than his music, and obviously he couldn’t see that anyone was around, so he was taken completely by surprise. 

Sam took the earbuds out of his ear. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry, kiddo. I had no other way of getting your attention. I was thinking we could grab dinner now,” Gabriel said.

The very mention of food made Sam hungry. He was definitely on board with the dinner thing. “Okay. What are we having?” he asked as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the couch. 

“Whatever you want to order off the menu at the French restaurant I’m taking you to,” Gabriel said.

Sam went completely stiff. He hadn’t been out since becoming blind and he had no desire to rectify that. “No, let’s just eat here. You can snap dinner up if you don’t wanna cook, or we can deliver.”

“Nope, we’re going out. It’s time for your first adventure outside. You can’t stay locked inside forever,” Gabriel said firmly.

“E...Everyone will know as soon as they see me,” Sam said.

“Yeah, and guess what? They’ll keep walking after they figure it out. Except the waitress. She’ll ask you what you want, you’ll tell her, and then she’ll keep walking,” Gabriel said with a slight smirk.

“I don’t want to. Go without me if you want to get out,” Sam said.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and Sam’s shoes on his feet, causing the man to give another flinch in surprise. “You’re coming. Now, do I have to snap us there or will you get up and walk?” Yeah, he knew he sounded like an ass right now, but he knew very well that if he wasn’t forceful, Sam keep himself holed up for the rest of his life. He needed to take back what those SOBs had stolen from them when they took his sight. His life. It wasn’t going to be the same life, but it could still be a normal one. Sam needed to start taking the steps to reclaim it though.

“You can’t make me go!” Sam growled. Of course he knew that Gabriel could though. As Gabriel had threatened, he could literally snap him where he wanted him. 

Gabriel chuckled. “Oh, you know better than that. We both know there’s less than a handful of things I can’t do.”

Sam huffed. “Why can’t you just let it go? Let me handle things my own way!”

“If you were handling it, maybe I would. Now, come.” Gabriel urged.

“I...I won’t even be able to read the menu,” Sam said bitterly. 

“So I’ll read it to you and you can tell me what you want,” Gabriel replied.

Sam sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to get out of this. ”Fine,” he said before grabbing his cane from the floor and standing up.

Gabriel steered him towards the door. “The door’s straight ahead.”

“Wait, are we driving?” Sam asked surprised. He figured Gabriel would just transport them there. Doing things normally didn’t seem to be Gabriel’s or any other angel’s style. Well, except for cooking. Most of the time Gabriel did that normally.

“Nope, we’re walking. The place we’re going is only a few blocks away and this will help you get used to walking outside. Come on,” Gabriel said before going ahead of Sam and opening the front door.

Sam walked towards him, feeling with his cane as he walked. After a few feet, he ended up hitting something solid, most likely a wall.

“Step a few feet to your left,” Gabriel instructed. It would’ve been much easier for him to just lead Sam out the door, but Sam didn’t need someone to lead him around. He needed to know how to do it himself.

Sam stepped to the side a couple of paces and when Gabriel didn’t say anything, he walked forward again. The feeling against his shoes changed, telling him he wasn’t on the living room carpet anymore. Then he heard a door shut behind him, telling him he’d made it out the door. 

“You’ve got three steps off the porch coming up,” Gabriel said.

Sam felt around with his cane until he hit air, indicating that he’d reached the steps. He stepped down three times and then felt grass underneath his feet. 

“Keep going straight until you hit the curb. Then you’ll turn to your right and walk straight,” Gabriel instructed. 

Sam did so, stopping when he felt his can hit pavement. He stopped onto the road and took a right. “So we’re eating French tonight? I don’t think I’ve ever had French food. We never really ate fancy.”

“Well, French seemed like the best choice given that we’re in France,” Gabriel joked.

“We are?” Sam asked. He’d never asked before where they were. It didn’t seem to matter. He’d just been in Gabriel’s house the whole time and he’d spent most of that time in despair over his loss of sight. Their location didn’t seem to matter. 

“Yup, Bordeaux,” Gabriel said.

“Wow. I get to go to another country and I can’t even see what it looks like,” Sam said with sadness in his voice.

“Eh, it’s just another city,” Gabriel said nonchalantly. “Take a right.”

Sam did as he was told. He started to speed up and suddenly, he stumbled into the curb with his right foot and started to fall.

Gabriel grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up right before he could fall. “I got you. Walk a little more slowly and make sure to feel to the side with that cane.”

“I was trying to hurry up. I didn’t wanna hold you up,” Sam said.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m in no hurry. Go at a speed you’re comfortable with,” Gabriel urged.

Sam nodded and started walking again.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Sam and Gabriel were seated at a small table in the middle of the restaurant waiting for their food. Sam had ordered something called Pot-au-feu, which was apparently a beef stew. It was the safest thing Gabriel had read off the menu. Sam wasn’t quite ready to try anything more exotic than that.

Sam found that Gabriel had been right that no one really bothered him about his sight. No one even asked about it. When he thought about it, it seemed about right. Normal people didn’t go around asking about a stranger’s disability. That didn’t mean Sam wasn’t still uncomfortable. Not just uncomfortable, but also on edge. There were people everywhere and he didn’t know exactly where or what they were doing. He didn’t like that.

“Sam, relax. No one’s staring at you,” Gabriel said. He noticed how uncomfortable the man was and how his head turned at the sound of the slightest thing. 

“It’s not just that. I...I hear people moving around, but I don’t know where they are. I don’t know who or what is here and what they might do,” Sam said.

Gabriel understood within seconds. Sam didn’t feel safe. It was understandable, even for a normal person. Losing a sense, especially one as dominant as sight, took away a huge sense of security. And as Sam was a hunter, it had to be even worse. “I see. You feel vulnerable.”

“I am vulnerable. There could be a demon or something next to me and I wouldn’t know it,” Sam whispered so no one else would hear him.

“There are no demons here, Sam. There is nothing here but humans. I’d know if there weren’t,” Gabriel said.

“But I wouldn’t. I can’t defend myself. I can’t even see to know that I need to defend myself,” Sam said. That was one of the hardest things about this. He was useless. He wouldn’t be able to do anything if he was attacked. He was a sitting duck. He hated that.

Gabriel looked at Sam for a minute and then reached his hand out. “My hand is directly in front of you. Take it.”

Sam felt weird about holding another guy’s hand, but he tentatively reached out until he felt the archangels hand and then he grasped it. He was kind of unprepared for how it felt. It didn’t feel weird at all. It felt kind of good. 

Gabriel gave Sam’s hand a reassuring squeeze. He hoped it made the hunter feel a little safer. “You don’t have to worry about protecting yourself, alright? I won’t let anything touch you,” he promised. He didn’t know why, but he felt very protective over Sam. He was not going to allow anything to hurt him again, and that included his ass of a brother.

“You shouldn’t have to protect me,” Sam said.

“I don’t have to. It’s not about having to. I will do it,” Gabriel said firmly.

“Thanks,” Sam said. He actually did feel better with the archangel’s words. He hated that he needed someone to keep the monsters away from him, but at the same time, it felt good to know someone had his back. And he did believe Gabriel when he said he did. He didn’t know when it happened, but he’d apparently started to trust Gabriel.

Gabriel let go of Sam’s hand as the waiter arrived with their food. Once he left, they both started eating.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam sat with Gabriel at the library. They’d been going there every day for about two of three weeks. Gabriel had decided to move their braille lessons to a different venue, which really annoyed Sam at first because he knew Gabriel was capable of doing it at the house. He was doing it to make sure Sam got out more and was around people.

Sam was more okay with the library trips now. He was starting to get used to being blind, even if he still hated it, and he was getting used to being around other people. He still made himself very aware of when someone passed by him, but he no longer feared a demon at every corner. 

The braille lessons themselves, were something else entirely. Sam hated them. He got extremely frustrated very easily. It was so difficult to learn, and Sam wasn’t used to that. Learning had always come very easy to him. He wasn’t a genius or anything, but he picked things up quickly. This wasn’t like that. It was really hard. “Ugh! This is driving me insane!”

“Calm down. It’s gonna take time, Sam. You won’t get it overnight,” Gabriel said very patiently.

“It’s been weeks since we started!” Sam exclaimed in frustration.

“Yeah, well, it takes kids more than a few weeks to read visually, so it’s only fair to assume that it’ll take you a while to learn to read braille. And you should probably keep your voice down or we’ll get kicked out,” Gabriel said. 

Sam snorted. “I’m sure you can avoid us getting kicked out. Though I wouldn’t mind being thrown out.”

Gabriel chuckled. “You wanna take a break? We can go to the diner down the street for lunch and come back.”

“Sure, but let’s skip the coming back part,” Sam grumbled as he stood up.

Gabriel laughed and the two of them started walking towards the exit.

Sam only got a few feet before he felt himself colliding into someone and then falling to the floor. 

Gabriel immediately went to help Sam. He would’ve stopped Sam’s fall, but they were in public and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it without giving away that he was a little more than human. He was just a little too short for anyone to believe he could sustain Sam’s weight. “You okay, Sam.”

“Yeah,” Sam said as he started to get up. He then felt Gabriel grab his arm and allowed the angel to pull him up. 

“Oh, man, I’m really sorry,” the man Sam bumped into said.

The first thing Sam noticed was that the man was American, which was a little surprising, as he didn’t run into many so far. “No, it’s okay. It was probably my fault.”

“No, the idiot wasn’t looking where he was going,” Gabriel said while glaring at the man in front of him. The guy looked around middle-aged and had balding dark hair and brown eyes.

“Gabriel,” Sam admonished.

“No, he’s right, I wasn’t paying attention. I’m sorry. My name’s Will,” the man said.

“Sam,” he said before sticking out his hand. He felt the man’s hand in his soon and shook it.

“It’s nice to meet you. Again, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ve stumbled plenty of times. Once more doesn’t make a difference. I should’ve been paying better attention anyway. Usually I know when someone’s close by,” Sam said.

“I got your cane, Sam,” Gabriel said. Sam had dropped it when he fell and it had landed a few feet away.

Sam put his hand out and felt it being placed in his hand. “It was nice to meet you, Will.”

“Yeah, just great. You might want to look up when you’re walking from now on,” Gabriel said shortly before leading Sam away.

“Gabriel, do you have to be an ass?” Sam was asking as they walked.

Meanwhile, Will watched them leave and then went to the front desk to speak to the librarian. “Excuse me, do you speak English.”

“Pretty good, yes,” a woman with graying dark hair said in a French accent.

“Do you know the two that just left, the blind guy and his friend?” Will asked.

“Oh, yes. Sam and Gabriel. They come often. Sam is learning to read without his sight,” the woman said.

“How long have they been coming?” Will asked.

“A few weeks. They are very nice, though Gabriel appears protective of Sam,” she said.

“Thank you,” he said before walking away.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Bobby was exhausted. He hadn’t slept well lately, neither had Dean. Sam had been gone for about a month and there was no sign of him at all nor any leads on finding him. It was keeping both hunters up and barely functioning. Bobby spent most of his time that wasn’t spent helping other hunters trying find some way of finding Sam and Dean was taking up hunt after hunt to keep his mind off things.

Bobby was in the middle of looking up some lore for a hunter when he heard the phone rang. He immediately rolled his chair over to the phones and answered it. “Singer.”

“Hey, Bobby, it’s Will.”

“Hey, Will, what’s up? You still in France?” Bobby asked. Most hunters didn’t bother with hunts outside of the country, but there were a couple, which was good because a lot of monsters didn’t care what part of the world they wreaked havoc in. 

“Yeah, I was looking into a supposed animal attack. I just hit the library. When I got here, I bumped into a couple of people. One of them matches your boy’s description,” Will said.

Bobby stiffened. He’d given Sam’s information to a few trustworthy hunters. He’d been a little uneasy about doing so after his trust in Tim and Reggie was betrayed, but he had very few options. He didn’t even think it would do much good, but he had to give it a shot. “You think you saw Sam?”

“Yeah. The librarian says he and his buddy have been coming in to the library for the last few weeks. The timing kind of fits from when you told me he was missing. But, Bobby, he’s blind,” Will said as gently as he could.

“Then it’s not Sam,” Bobby said gruffly. The voice in the back of his head was saying that it was possible, that they had no idea what those assholes, the hunters or the angels, might have done to him, but Bobby wasn’t willing to even consider it.

“Bobby, the kid said his name was Sam and he looked exactly how you described. You really believe in coincidences like that? You told me that he might have been injured,” Will said.

Bobby sighed. He had said that, but he hadn’t imagined possible blindness. He didn’t want that for Sam. He knew what it was like to lose a part of yourself. He didn’t want that for his boy. “You’re sure he’s blind.”

“Yeah. He didn’t make any eye contact with me and he had a cane, one the blind uses,” Will said.\

“You said he was with someone,” Bobby said as he remembered Will saying Sam had a buddy with him.

“Yeah, some guy named Gabriel.”

Bobby wasn’t religious by any means, but he did know that there was supposed to be an archangel named Gabriel. He was supposed to be God’s messenger. Sure, a lot of people had that name, but they knew Sam had been taken by an angel.

“How did he seem around this guy? Did he seem like he was being held against his will?” Bobby asked. He couldn’t imagine an angel taking Sam to a library while holding him hostage, but he also couldn’t see Sam agreeing to stay with one.

“No, he seemed fine, kind of friendly. And this Gabriel guy seemed decent. He was really protective of Sam, bit my head off for accidently knocking him down,” Will said.

Bobby wasn’t sure what to make of that. The only decent angel he knew was Cas and that was only since the apocalypse began. Bobby didn’t trust whoever this was. He was sure the guy had some kind of agenda. 

“Bobby, you want me to come back tomorrow and try to talk to him?” Will asked.

“No, I’ll handle it. Give me the name of that library,” Bobby said before quickly grabbing a pen and paper scrap. Then he wrote down the name as it was given to him. “Thanks, Will,” he said before hanging up. Then he picked the phone up and made a call.

“Yes,” a male voice answered.

“Cas, it’s Bobby. I need you to get to my place as soon as…”

“I am here,” Castiel answered from behind Bobby.

Bobby hung up the phone and turned his chair around. “Well, you’re certainly quick.”

“What can I help you with? I am busy searching for Sam,” Castiel said. He had been doing nothing else since he’d learned what happened to him. Not only was it important that Sam be found to keep him from agreeing to be Lucifer’s vessel, but Dean was refusing to talk to him as well. He was still angry Castiel hadn’t listened to Sam’s prayers and he wasn’t really wrong to be.

“Yeah, well, I might have found him. I’ve been having some hunters keep an eye out just in case. One of them find someone with his description in a French library,” Bobby said.

“Your friend must be mistaken. No angel would take him out in public,” Castiel said.

“He’s with someone named Gabriel. I know there’s an angel with that name,” Bobby said.

“An archangel, yes. No one’s seen him in thousands of years,” Castiel said with a frown. He didn’t understand why Gabriel would surface now or why he’d take Sam. Was it just because the apocalypse started?

“Look I was hoping you could check this out, see if it is him and what’s going on,” Bobby said.

“Of course. Do you know where they are?” Castiel asked. He would need to be careful about this. There was an archangel involved and that could get deadly. But he would do what he could to help Sam and hopefully also regain Dean’s trust.

Bobby handed him the piece of paper in his hand. “They’re not there now, but apparently go often. One thing though. I don’t want Dean to know until I’m sure it’s Sam. I’m told he’s blind, and just the thought of that would tear Sam up.”

Castiel frowned once more. “If Sam were blinded, Gabriel would be able to heal him. I’m unsure if this is not merely a coincidence.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll find out when you see them, won’t we?” Bobby said.

“Alright. I will keep you informed,” Castiel said before disappearing.


	13. Chapter 13

Castiel arrived at the French library the next day. He’d briefly gone right after leaving Bobby’s, but there was no sign of Sam or Gabriel, so he decided to try again the next day as they were unlikely to return the same day. 

Castiel was surprised when he picked up Gabriel’s Grace seconds after he arrived. He hadn’t expected for it to be true. He figured Bobby’s friend had made a mistake. But it was him, which probably meant Sam was also here.

Castiel scanned the area and found Sam and Gabriel towards the back. Gabriel, unsurprisingly had already noticed his presence, undoubtedly sensing his Grace as well. Castiel knew this because Gabriel was staring at him unhappily. Then after making a quick excuse to Sam, he was up and heading Castiel’s way.

Castiel regarded his brother nervously, knowing very well what he could do to him.

Gabriel made it to Castiel quickly and grabbed him by the back of his coat, hauling him towards the door. “What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded once they got outside.

“Brother, what are you doing?” Castiel said. He didn’t know what Gabriel wanted with Sam. It clearly wasn’t to make him say ‘yes’ to Lucifer. They wouldn’t be at a public library if that was the case.

“Why are you here?! How’d you know where to find us?” Gabriel demanded to know.

“A hunter friend of Bobby Singer’s ran into you here. He had Sam’s description. Is it true that Sam’s blind?” Castiel asked.

“What do you care? You assholes forsook him! You don’t give a damn about Sam,” Gabriel said while glaring.

“That isn’t true,” Castiel said.

“No? Where were you when Sam was being tortured by those animals in human form? Don’t answer because I already know. You were busy kissing Dean Winchester’s ass or searching for our deadbeat father. It’s a little late to pretend Sam means anything to you, brother,” Gabriel spat. 

“No one knew what was happening to Sam,” Castiel tried to reason. 

“That’s because no one gave a damn what happened to him,” Gabriel said.

“That isn’t true. Even if you’re right about me, Dean and Bobby Singer care about him. He’s their family,” Castiel said.

“I won’t speculate about the old man, but Dean caring about him is a load of crap! The bastard left him to rot because he made a mistake!” Gabriel growled. Needless to say, he had no respect for Dean Winchester. The self-righteous asshole was part of the reason Sam had so little self-respect, why he felt he deserved to be blinded.

“It was Sam’s decision to leave,” Castiel said, feeling compelled to defend his friend.

“Yeah, because staying and allowing his own brother to continue to condemn him would’ve been better. Dean may not have told him to go, but that’s what he wanted. He was tired of taking care of his brother. Well, guess what? He doesn’t have to worry about that anymore. Sam’s not his problem. I’ll handle it from now on,” Gabriel said. In the beginning, he wanted Sam to reunite with his brother because he knew how close they were and that it was hurting Sam not to be with Dean. But when Sam finally told him what happened, that changed. Dean didn’t deserve his brother if he was willing to abandon him so easily and there was no way in hell Gabriel was going to Sam get hurt again.

“Is Sam blind?” Castiel asked again.

“Yeah, he’s blind. You can feel free to give that information to your boy toy,” Gabriel said. Sam didn’t want Dean to know, but he did. He wanted Dean to know what happened after he pushed Sam away. He wanted him to hate himself for what happened.”

“I don’t understand. Why don’t you heal him?” Castiel asked confused. He could tell by how angry Gabriel was that he cared for Sam, so why wouldn’t he heal him.

“Oh, I’d love to, Bro. You find a way to get past the holy oil they mixed with the acid they poured into his eyes and I’ll have it done in a second,” Gabriel said coolly.

“Holy oil? I didn’t know that could inhibit healing,” Castiel said. He knew it could trap or kill an angel, but he didn’t know that if mixed with a wound, an angel wouldn’t be able to heal it. 

“Well, it’s never been tested until now. Are we done now?” Gabriel asked impatiently. He’d spent much more time on this conversation than he wanted to and every second he did just pissed him off. 

“Gabriel, Dean is worried about Sam. He investigated the deaths of those hunters and saw his blood in their basement. He wants his brother back,” Castiel said.

“I don’t care. I don’t give a damn what Dean wants. He threw his brother to the wolves! As far as I’m concerned, he lost the right to anything with Sam,” Gabriel said before he began to walk away. He was done with this.

“How about Sam? I am sure he’d like to see his brother. You can’t hold him hostage. You have to return him,” Castiel said in a loud and demanding tone.

Gabriel was back over to him in seconds and had a glare on his face so powerful that Castiel would be incinerated if looks could kill. “You’re just asking for me to smite you! Believe me when say, I have problem showing you that I am just as dangerous as Michael or Raphael!”

Castiel flinched. He had forgotten for a second. He should’ve known better than to challenge an archangel in such a way. He supposed he got caught up in needed to defend Dean. “I…I didn’t mean to offend you, Brother.”

“You know; it happens that I offered to bring Sam to his brother. He didn’t want to go. It seems Sam doesn’t have any faith in his brother anymore. That might have something to do with the bastard basically telling him he was better off without Sam. He doesn’t trust him anymore. That’s a problem. In his condition, Sam needs to be able to count on who’s helping him,” Gabriel said.

“You’re saying Sam doesn’t want to see Dean?” Castiel said surprised. Sam seemed to be devoted to his brother. Well, most of the time. Sam had chosen a demon over him, which was the beginning of all of this.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Gabriel said. Okay, that wasn’t technically true. He knew Sam did want to see his brother, but Sam had made the choice not to and it would be respected.

“I’d like to speak with him.”

“No. I know what you plan to do, Castiel. You wanna manipulate Sam, guilt him into going to see Dean. There’s no way in hell that’s going to happen. Now I will tell Sam that Dean wants to see him. If he wants to see his brother, fine, I’ll bring him. But you’re not gonna mess with his head. You try to talk to him now and I will smite your ass!” Gabriel swore before turning around and going back inside.


	14. Chapter 14

Bobby was in the living room reading up on supernatural lore and trying desperately not to think about Sam and the possibility of him being blind. He’d never forgive himself if it was true. He’d sent those men in Sam’s direction. If they blinded him, he was responsible. 

Dean, Bobby also knew would never forgive himself. Dean blamed himself for pushing Sam away. He’d been beating himself up since he learned what happened to his brother. While Bobby agreed that Dean was dead wrong for what he did to Sam, it didn’t make him responsible for what happened to him. Dean didn’t see it that way though, and if Sam was blind, it would be a thousand times worse.

Bobby’s thoughts were cut off when suddenly Dean’s voice rang out right in front. 

“Dude, what the hell?!

Bobby flinched in surprise as he heard his surrogate son’s voice. He looked up and saw him and Castiel right in front of him. “Are you kidding me. You idjits are lucky I didn’t have my gun on me!”

“Don’t look at me. He just freaking teleported me here with no warning. What the hell, Cas? You know I hate angel travel!” Dean grumbled. This hadn’t been what he expected when the angel called him and asked where he was. Cas was barely there two seconds before he put his fingers to Dean’s head and brought him here. 

“That is why I did it this way,” Castiel said matter-of-factly. He knew Dean would argue about driving and he felt that would take too long. Dean and Bobby both needed to know about Sam right away and it was easier to tell them together.

“Yeah, well, this better be about my brother, since looking for him is what you should be doing,” Dean said with a glare. He was still pissed at Cas for what happened to Sam. Dean knew he had his own responsibility in what happened to Sam, but so did Cas. 

“It is. I located Sam in France with my brother, Gabriel,” Castiel said.

“It was him then?” Bobby asked. Given all the similarities, he felt it almost had to be, but he didn’t see him himself, so there were still doubts. 

Dean narrowed his eyes at Bobby. “What? You knew where he was?”

“A hunter friend had Sam’s description and ran into someone he said fit it in France yesterday,” Bobby said.

“Yesterday? Why the hell didn’t you call me?!” Dean demanded to know.

Bobby glared at him. “Watch it, boy. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t wanna needlessly get your hopes up, so I asked Cas to check it out.” 

Dean turned back to Castiel. “So where the hell is he?”

“I told you, he’s in France,” Castiel said.

“Well, why the hell didn’t you bring him back? And who’s this dick, Gabriel?” Dean demanded to know. 

“Gabriel’s an archangel. That’s why I didn’t bring Sam back,” Castiel said.

“Great. Is he working for Lucifer?” Dean asked.

“No, I don’t think so. Lucifer was nowhere around, and Gabriel had him out in public. Lucifer would be unlikely to allow that if he was involved. I don’t think Gabriel is doing this for anyone but himself and Sam,” Castiel said. He didn’t agree with much of what Gabriel said, but he seemed to genuinely care about Sam.

Dean snorted at the idea of an angel giving a damn about his brother. “Was my brother okay? What did he say?”

“Gabriel wouldn’t allow me to speak to him,” Castiel said.

Dean huffed angrily. “What right does this bastard have to decide who my brother can and can’t talk to?! Take me to them now, Cas! I’m getting my brother back!”

“I can’t do that, Dean. For one, as I said, it was a public place and Gabriel most likely left as soon as we finished. But even if I could take you to him, I wouldn’t. He is an archangel. You cannot force him to relinquish Sam. He would be able to kill you before you so much as tried to touch him. It does not help that he holds you responsible for what happened to Sam,” Castiel exclaimed.

Dean scowled. He knew he was indeed responsible for what happened to his brother, but what right did some dick angel have to judge him? He didn’t know either of them or their relationship with each other. Now, if Sam wanted to blame him, that was fine. He would take every single bit of his brother’s anger, but he wasn’t going to be judged by some stranger.

“Why does he even care? What does this guy want?” Bobby wanted to know. He refused to believe some angel actually gave a damn about Sam. Angels had proven to be assholes, aside from the present company, and even that was very recent. This guy wanted something from them or Sam.

“I don’t know all of Gabriel’s motives for helping Sam, but I do believe he genuinely cares for him,” Castiel said.

“Yeah, right! If he really cared about Sam, he’d let him go. He’d bring my brother back to me,” Dean said.

Castiel knew his next words were going to hurt his friend. “Gabriel claims that he offered that. Sam did not wish to see you. He says Sam doesn’t trust you anymore.”

Dean felt like a knife had just been plunged into his chest at those words. Nothing could’ve hurt worse than hearing that his brother didn’t trust him. He’d taken care of his brother his whole life, been the one person Sam could trust above anyone else. Now he was hearing Sam didn’t trust him anymore. It was a huge blow. The ironic part was that he had said the same thing to Sam not too long ago. He’d caused him that same pain he was feeling now. 

“It’s coming from an angel, Dean. You don’t know that it’s true,” Bobby said.

Dean nodded. Bobby was right, it could be a lie, though Dean felt he’d deserve it if it weren’t. “Even if it is true, this dude is holding him against his will. Sam would never stay with an angel. Either he’s physically forcing him or he’s using some kind of leverage.”

“There’s not really anywhere else for Sam to go,” Castiel said.

“He’s not a child. He’d have no trouble going off by himself,” Dean said.

“Yes, actually, he would,” Castiel said sadly.

Bobby sighed, knowing what was coming. He’d hoped that Sam being blind wasn’t true, though he pretty much knew that was a delusion since everything else he learned yesterday turned out to be. “Dean, sit down.”

Dean turned to Bobby. “What?”

“Sit,” Bobby said again.

“Hell no! What’s going on?!” Dean demanded to know. Bobby seemed to know something else about his brother that he didn’t and he wanted to know right now.

“Son, you really need to sit for this,” Bobby said gently.

Dean knew that what he was about to hear was bad by the way Bobby spoke to him. Not once in his life had he ever heard Bobby talk like that, with no trace of his usual gruff tone. So he did as he was asked and sat down on the couch.

“The hunter that saw Sam yesterday told me something else. He said that Sam was blind,” Bobby said.

Dean immediately jumped up. “He’s wrong!”

“No, he isn’t, Dean. Sam cannot see,” Castiel said.

“Shut up! I won’t freaking let you tell me my brother’s blind!” Dean exploded. This was not something he could accept. Living with the knowledge that he’d left his brother alone to get tortured was bad enough, but he could not live with him being blinded too. No, this was not happening!

“I’m sorry, but it’s true,” Castiel said.

“You know, if your asshole brother cares so much, why hasn’t he healed him?” Bobby asked, his gruff tone back.

“He can’t. Holy oil was used in the method they used to blind him,” Castiel said.

Bobby thought of asking what method was used, but he quickly decided he didn’t want to know, and it was certainly best right now if Dean didn’t know.

Dean, meanwhile, angrily bolted towards the door. 

“Dean!” Bobby called.

“No! I am not listening to any more about my brother being blind!” Dean yelled before continuing to the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Sam was sitting at the dining room table listening to Gabriel in the kitchen. He knew something was wrong with the angel. He’d been weird and pissed off ever since they left the library. He’d barely spoken since then and when he did, his tone was tense. 

Gabriel was in the middle of making dinner. He was still extremely angry over his conversation with Castiel. Honestly, he was angrier at Dean than Castiel, though Castiel did have his own crap to answer for with Sam, along with the rest of their asshat brothers. But Dean was Sam’s brother. He was the one who screwed Sam over and now had the nerve to want him back. He didn’t deserve Sam, and okay, maybe a part of it was that Gabriel didn’t want to give Sam up.

“Gabriel, are you okay?” Sam asked. 

“That’s like the hundredth time you asked me that. How many times are you gonna keep asking?” Gabriel asked as he turned over the chicken he was frying. 

“When you stop lying. I may not be able to see you, but I can hear the anger in your voice,” Sam said. He’d gotten pretty good at compensating for his lack of sight. He paid attention to the sound of someone’s voice a lot more.

Gabriel sighed. He knew he had to explain to Sam what happened. He meant it when he told Castiel that he was going to tell Sam that Dean was interested in seeing him. He’d been putting it off for the last few hours because he was afraid that even after everything, Sam would choose to go back to Dean. Even in such a short time, Sam had become an important part of his life and he didn’t want him to go. “Just let me finish dinner and then we’ll talk while we eat.”

“Okay,” Sam agreed.

It took Gabriel about another ten minutes to finish cooking. Then he put the chicken and rice he made onto two plates and brought it over to the table. “Alright, here we go.”

“Thanks. So what’s up?” Sam asked as he very slowly and carefully worked on cutting his food. Needless to say, the once simple task was a lot more difficult when you couldn’t see. 

Gabriel sat down across from Sam. “Castiel showed up at the library.”

Sam dropped his silverware onto the plate in surprise. “H…How’d he find us?”

“It turns out we ran into a hunter there yesterday. My guess is it was the idiot that knocked into you. Apparently he knows Bobby Singer. They found out what happened to you with those men and they’ve been looking for you,” Gabriel explained. 

“How’d they find out?” Sam asked, a little rattled that they even knew. He never wanted Dean to know. He’d feel obligated to find him and then take care of him.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I wasn’t really interested in much Castiel had to say,” Gabriel said.

“Th…They know I’m blind then,” Sam said. It wasn’t a question. Even if that hunter for some reason hadn’t told Bobby he was blind, which was highly unlikely, Cas would have seen it when he showed up today.

“Yeah. I’d assume by now your brother knows too.”

Sam hung his head unhappily. “I didn’t want Dean to find out.

“Yeah, well, he should know. He ought to know what he caused,” Gabriel bit out. 

“He didn’t cause it. It’s not his fault,” Sam argued.

“He’s not responsible for the actions of those psychos, but if he hadn’t been such a dick, you wouldn’t have been alone for them to go after,” Gabriel said.

“It was my choice to leave,” Sam said.

“And his to let you. His to push you away in the first place. He threw you away. That pisses me off because you deserve better. Dean’s not perfect. He had no right to judge you so harshly,” Gabriel said firmly.

Sam shrugged, not sure how to respond.

“According to Castiel, Dean would like to see you. Apparently he feels bad. Not nearly enough though,” Gabriel said. He said the last part under his breath to himself. He would not give Dean a pass because he suddenly found a heart. It didn’t show up until after he found out Sam had been kidnapped and tortured. Gabriel had to wonder if Dean would still feel guilty for his actions if that never happened.

Sam shifted uncomfortably. He wasn’t sure what to do. He really did want to see Dean. He missed his brother. Dean had been the constant throughout his whole life. It had hurt so bad to have to let him go. But Sam wasn’t sure he could go back now, for more than one reason.

“Sam, do you wanna see your brother?” Gabriel asked.

“Yes, but I’m not sure I should. He probably just wants to see me now because he feels bad about what happened to me. He doesn’t really wanna see me. He just thinks he should. Just like when he finds out I’m blind, he’ll think he has to take care of me,” Sam said. It wasn’t just that though. He knew that all the resentment and distrust would still be there and he wasn’t sure he could deal with it. Secretly, that was one of the reasons he left. Everything he said to Dean about not trusting himself was true, but he was sure if he thought his brother had his back that he would stay. That was why he’d been hoping Dean would try to stop him. He didn’t because he didn’t want to be around him. Sam wasn’t sure he could go back to that. He knew he deserved his brother’s ire. Maybe he even deserved his hatred, but he didn’t want to deal with it, especially after nearly a month of it being different. Gabriel never sugarcoated what he did wrong, but he didn’t hold it against him every second or look at him almost like he was a demon. Well, at least Sam guessed he didn’t. But that was how he sometimes felt with Dean. Hell, it seemed a lot like that even before he released Lucifer. He didn’t want to go back to that.

“Sam, if you don’t want to go to your brother, our arrangement stands, but I think maybe you should. You should at least talk to him and figure out if maybe you do want to go back with him,” Gabriel said. He didn’t think Dean deserved for Sam to even give him the consideration of talking to him and he was more than a bit worried that Sam would choose to go off with his brother, but this was not about what he thought or wanted. It wouldn’t be right for him to influence Sam to stay away from his brother. He wouldn’t be much better than Dean for doing that. He needed to help Sam make the right choice for him.

Sam sighed. He was more than a little reluctant, but maybe it was best for him to do this, maybe even for him to stay with Dean if he’d have him. Gabriel shouldn’t have to keep taking care of him. He deserved to have his life back, even if Sam was reluctant to leave. “Okay. We can go tomorrow.”

“Alright. Let’s eat,” Gabriel said before digging into his dinner.


	16. Chapter 16

The next day, Sam and Gabriel appeared in front of Bobby’s front door. Sam had advised that they knock instead of appearing right in front of Bobby. It was likely he’d attack with a gun or knife. True, Sam knew he personally had nothing to fear and Gabriel wouldn’t actually be hurt this way, but he still wanted this to go as smoothly as possible. Of course, that might not be possible with them knocking. Bobby only knew Gabriel as the Trickster and was likely to attack for that reason alone. 

“Ready, kiddo?” Gabriel asked.

Sam took a deep breath. He wasn’t really all that ready. He was anxious to see his brother again and be faced with either his rejection or his obviously fake acceptance, but he had to do this and figured it was best to get on with it. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Gabriel knocked on the door. It was just a few minutes when they heard Bobby struggling to get the door open.

“Damned chair!” Bobby grumbled as he finally got the door open. He stopped abruptly when he saw who was behind it. Sam was there with the Trickster. Normally he would’ve attack the Trickster, despite his leg problem and the fact that he didn’t have the required weapon to hurt him, but he was focused on Sam. The kid was wearing sunglasses and held a cane in his hand. His eyes didn’t appear to be focused on a single thing, making it that much more obvious that he was blind. Hearing it was one thing, but it became much more real when you saw it with your own eyes. “Sam?”

“Hi, Bobby,” Sam said. He wasn’t really sure what else to say.

“Get in here, Boy,” Bobby said before moving aside to let them both in. 

Sam laughed and used his cane to feel his way inside.

Gabriel walked in after him and shut the door.

“You alright, Sam?” Bobby asked. Yeah, it was a stupid question, but he couldn’t help but ask it. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I mean, I’m obviously not how I was before, but I’m okay,” Sam assured him. 

“Come into the living room and sit down. Uh, you need some help? You can hang onto my chair if you need to,” Bobby asked. Unfortunately, that was the only help he could offer in his condition.

“No, that’s okay. I’ve got my cane. I’m pretty good at it now and I remember the way to the living room. Thanks though,” Sam said.

Bobby led the way into the living room, looking back every so often to make sure that Sam was behind him and the Trickster didn’t try anything. He didn’t trust him, even if it seemed he was an archangel. Actually, that was more of a reason not to trust him.

Sam nearly bumped into a couple of things along the way, but he made it to the living room.

“The couch is on your left, Sam,” Gabriel said when he saw the man start to walk passed it.

Sam felt with his hand for the couch. When he found it, he carefully walked closer and sat down. He soon felt the couch dip next to him and figured it was Gabriel sitting down.

Bobby positioned his chair in front of the two men. He looked at Gabriel. “So archangel, huh?”

Gabriel simply smirked in response. 

“So what do you want with Sam?” Bobby demanded to know.

“Bobby, don’t. He doesn’t want anything from me, okay? He’s not like the other angels,” Sam said. 

“You’re saying he’s not a dick? As I recall, he stuck you in a time loop so you could relive Dean’s death over and over again. Not to mention we know he’s killed,” Bobby said while continuing to glare at the trickster slash archangel.”

Gabriel laughed. “And humans don’t kill? You’ve never killed?”

“I kill monsters!” Bobby growled. 

“So do I,” Gabriel shot back. “I just stick to the human variety. You know, like those two sons of bitches that tortured Sam and then poured acid down his eyes!”

“Gabriel!” Sam yelled. Bobby didn’t need to know exactly what was done to him. He didn’t need to have those images.

Bobby flinched and pictured his boy tied up and struggling as those assholes did something like that, forced acid down his eyes. It was sickening just to imagine.

“Tell me, what makes them better than werewolves or vampires or demons?” Gabriel asked.

Bobby had no answer. The Trickster was right. Hell, he’d said himself that if Tim and Reggie were still alive, he’d kill them himself. They were just as monstrous as things he hunted. Hell, they might even be worse. If those were the people Gabriel killed, could he really judge him for it? “Fine. What about what you did to Sam?”

“He was trying to help, Bobby. I hate what he did, but he was trying to put a stop to what we’re dealing with now. The apocalypse. He was trying to help me learn to go on without Dean instead of turning to Ruby and starting the end of the world. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen,” Sam said guiltily.

“Stop it, Sam. We’ve been over this. Yes, you made a huge mistake, but you know it and it won’t happen again. Stop beating yourself up over it,” Gabriel said.

“I just keep wishing I’d listened. If I had just done something different then, this wouldn’t have happened,” Sam said.

“Nothing ever got fixed by playing the ‘what if’ game. It doesn’t help anything. As much as I hate to admit it, Gabriel’s right. You gotta let it go,” Bobby said.

“Is Dean here?” Sam asked, wanting to change the subject. Although, that subject probably wouldn’t be any better. 

“Yeah, he’s passed out upstairs,” Bobby said. Dean used his usual method for dealing with upsetting news. He went bar hopping. He’d come back late last night so drunk he couldn’t stand. “He didn’t take the news that you were blind very well.”

“Is he okay?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, he just got hammered. When Cas and I told him, he exploded. He went into complete denial and took off. He doesn’t want to accept it,” Bobby said.

“Too bad,” Gabriel said before standing up. 

“Hey, where the hell do you think you’re going?” Bobby asked as he watched Gabriel start out of the room.

“To pull this idiot’s head out of his ass,” Gabriel said as he left the room. 

“It’s okay, he won’t do anything to him,” Sam said. He knew Gabriel was pissed at Dean, but he wouldn’t hurt him, if just for Sam’s sake. 

Bobby sighed. “Sam, I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Sam asked confused. He couldn’t think of anything Bobby would have to apologize to him for.

“I sent them to you. If I hadn’t put those dicks in your path, this wouldn’t happen. You’d be alright,” Bobby said.

“Bobby, no! I asked you to send help. You wanted me to do it. I’m the one who insisted you send someone. You didn’t know this would happen. This is what I get for starting the apocalypse,” Sam said. No matter how hard Gabriel kept trying to convince him he didn’t deserve what happened to him, he couldn’t help but think he did. He felt like a monster who deserved whatever he got for what he did. It’s why he didn’t blame Dean for turning on him even though it hurt so much.

“Damn it, boy, don’t you ever let me hear you say that again! You did not deserve to be tortured and blinded! Nothing you ever do could warrant that,” Bobby said firmly. Was Sam really so messed up by what happened that he believed he deserved a life changing injury because he made a mistake? That just wasn’t right. He and Dean should’ve done something. They should’ve made sure he knew that what he did wasn’t unforgivable. Actually, Bobby thought he had done that, but apparently not.

“What I did was terrible, Bobby,” Sam said.

“Trusting a demon wasn’t smart, I’ll give you that, but you were manipulated by both sides. It’s not all on you, and what is isn’t as bad as you seem to think,” Bobby said.

“Tell Dean that,” Sam said under his breath.

As if on cue, at that moment, they both heard what sounded like a bullhorn from upstairs, followed by a yell and a crash to the floor. It seemed Gabriel had gotten Dean up.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Dean had fallen out of bed after being woken up by a loud horn. He grabbed his head as the massive hangover he had immediately made itself known. 

Gabriel got rid of the horn he’d snapped up after it did its job. “Up and at ‘em, pal.”

Dean looked up and saw the Trickster leaning over him. He grabbed the knife from his pants and got up and attacked. 

Gabriel knocked the knife out of the hunter’s hand just as he raised it and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. He slammed him hard against the wall. 

Dean groaned and grabbed his head, which had already been hurting. This was not an ideal way to get up after a night of drinking.

“You’re out of your league, bucko. I’m an archangel. There’s very little that can kill me, and certainly nothing you could get your hands on,” Gabriel said with a smirk. 

Dean looked at him in surprise. “An archangel? You’re Gabriel?”

Gabriel’s smirk widened. “At your service.”

“Where’s my brother?” Dean demanded to know as he tried and failed to push the angel off of him.

“Oh, you care about your brother now? What? Is him being blinded even a little much for you to ignore?” Gabriel goaded.

“He’s not blind!” Dean yelled.

“Oh, I know you don’t want him to be. Because then you have to live knowing you pushed him away and this is the result. You’d have to live with knowing that the last time he saw your face, he saw nothing but rejection in it! As much as you deserve that, I wish to Dad that it wasn’t like that because he doesn’t deserve that,” Gabriel said in a tone that held nothing but disgust for this man.

“No!” Dean said as he tried once more to get away. It couldn’t be true. He couldn’t live his brother being blinded because of him. It was a lie. He had to make it be a lie.

Gabriel pulled him forward and pushed him against the wall again. “Shut up! You don’t get to live in denial! This is not about you! You’re not the one that gonna live in darkness for the rest of your life! You’re not the one who will never see a single thing again! So pull yourself together and deal with the truth! Your brother is blind! Face that fact and get over it! Your brother is downstairs and he’s agreed to talk to you.”

Dean looked at him surprised. Sam was here? He could finally see his brother and tell him how sorry was. But would it even be enough if his brother was really blind. Could Sam ever forgive him.

Gabriel let go of Dean. “I suggest you pull yourself together and come down and talk to Sam. And I swear to Dad, if I hear one word condemning him for the damn apocalypse, I will smite you!” he swore before heading for the door.


	17. Chapter 17

Dean slowly walked downstairs about a half an hour later. He’d taken a shower and gotten dressed, all the while trying to prepare to see his brother. He’d never, ever been nervous about seeing Sam before, but he seriously was now. He wasn’t sure how it was going to go. Sam might hate him. Why wouldn’t he? He was blind because Dean wasn’t there to protect him.

Yes, Dean managed to accept the truth as he got ready. What choice did he have? He wanted to believe the Trickster was lying, but what point was there for him to. Sam was here now. If the Trickster was lying, Dean would know it the moment he saw his brother.

The truth is, Dean knew the whole time deep down that it was true. Cas wouldn’t have lied about his brother being blind. That was why he got so drunk last night. Despite his denial, he did know it was true and he couldn’t accept it. He still didn’t want to, but he didn’t really have a choice, and grudgingly, he would admit that the Trickster, or archangel, had a point. What right did he have to live in denial when he wasn’t the one this was happening to?

As Dean slowly approached the living room, he heard Bobby and Sam talking.

“So you’re getting used to all this?” Bobby was asking.

“Yeah, I’ve been learning to compensate for my sight. This thing is like my best friend,” Sam said.

Dean turned the corner and saw his brother holding up a long white canes, the type he’d seen blind people use. Well, if any part of Dean wanted to keep denying the truth, he couldn’t now. He had definitive proof that his brother was blind. Definitive proof of the damage he’d done to his brother.

Bobby and Gabriel both looked over when they saw Dean enter the room. Gabriel glared at Dean while Bobby looked at him warily, as if worried about how this would go.

“Dean?” Sam asked. He’d heard footsteps in the room indicating that someone came in.

Dan walked further into the room. “Yeah, it’s me. How’d you know I was here.”

“I heard you come in. I can still feel Gabriel next to me and Bobby can’t walk, so it had to be you,” Sam said.

“Right,” Dean said awkwardly before walking over and taking a seat in one of the chairs next to the couch. “Are you okay?” He knew it was a stupid question. He’d probably punch anyone who asked something so stupid if he was in Sam’s position. Of course Sam wasn’t okay. He’d been tortured. He was freaking blind. How could he possibly be okay? Somehow though, even knowing the answer already, the question still came out of Dean’s mouth. Maybe it was because he truly didn’t know how else to start this conversation.

Sam chuckled slightly, though there really wasn’t any humor in it. It was mostly forced. “I guess that’s the first thing people ask when they find out you’re blind. Bobby asked the same thing. “Yeah, I’m okay. Are you? Has there been any activity with the angels?”

“Well, Zachariah sent me to the future not long after you left, though now I’m wondering if that was really the future,” Dean said. Sam was already being tortured by those assholes at that point. If he wasn’t blinded by then, he certainly would’ve been soon after. The future Lucifer in Sam’s body was definitely not blind, unless Lucifer just wasn’t affected by that.”

“He’s an angel. He could’ve created his own little fake future for you, which is more likely. It was designed to make you say yes, right?” Gabriel asked.

Dean nodded.

“I’m guessing it became a little too convenient. You found something trying to convince you at every turn,” Gabriel said.

Again Dean nodded. Even his future self tried to convince him. It was a bit too neat. Everything supported what the assholes upstairs wanted. “Wait, so is it true that Sam is…?”

“Meant to hold Lucifer. Yeah, it’s true. Of course, it’s kind of moot now,” Gabriel said.

Dean looked over at his brother and saw that he didn’t seem surprised that he was Lucifer’s vessel. He’d obviously been told.

“Gabriel says Lucifer would be just as impaired as I am sight wise,” Sam said.

“Well, we should still be careful just in case,” Dean said as he eyed Gabriel distrustfully. He didn’t trust anything an archangel had to say. Angels were for the apocalypse, and this one had already proved to be a dick. They couldn’t trust him.

Gabriel payed the looks Dean was sending him no mind. He didn’t give a damn what Dean thought of him. “Well, you certainly ought to be careful. You’re still fair game.”

Dean turned back to his brother. “Listen, Sam, I know things ended bad the last time we saw each other.”

Sam shifted uncomfortably. He had been trying to put off this part of the discussion, which was partially why he started things off by asking about the apocalypse. “I, um… I think I need something to drink.

“I’ll get it,” Dean said as he started to get up. He knew his brother was avoiding the conversation, but if he wanted something, he’d get it for him. It was the least he could do. 

“He doesn’t need you to do it. He’s not crippled. Uh, no offense, Singer,” Gabriel said. He knew Sam wasn’t going to respond well to his brother doing things for him. It would just add to his fears that his brother felt obligated to take care of him if he was already treating him like he was helpless.”

Bobby glared at Gabriel, though there was no real heat in it. “I can do things for myself too, Jackass.”

Sam took ahold of his cane and stood up, making his way towards where he knew the kitchen was.

Gabriel followed. Sam could get what he needed himself, but he might need some direction in finding things

Dean followed as well. He wasn’t leaving Gabriel alone with his brother for a single second. He didn’t trust him at all. Yeah, he helped Sam, but Dean was sure he had his own motives. He didn’t help Sam selflessly. Dean needed to get him out of here and away from his brother soon.

Sam felt around with his cane and also his hand as he navigated through the kitchen. Thankfully, he knew this house almost perfectly by memory, so it wasn’t long before he found the counter. He reached up to find the cabinets. He opened up the first one he felt.

“No, go down two more, Sam,” Bobby said as he pushed his chair into the room.

“Dude, just let me do it,” Dean said as he walked closer to his brother.

“I don’t need you to take care of me,” Sam said forcefully. Not only did he not want Deal to feel obligated to help him, but he didn’t want anyone treating him like he couldn’t do things for himself. Yes, sometimes he still needed help, like Bobby had given him by helping him find the right cabinet, but he didn’t need it done for him. He would get himself a glass of water.

Dean was a little hurt by his brother’s reaction, but he supposed he couldn’t fault his brother for not wanting his help after how he treated him.

Sam counted two cabinets over and opened it. He felt around until he found and gripped a glass. He then stepped to the side to where the sink should be. He felt around until he found the faucet handle. Then with little difficulty in getting the glass where it needed to be, he poured himself a glass of water.

“You good now?” Gabriel asked as he put a hand on his shoulder.

Dean was seconds from pulling the trickster slash archangel away from his brother. The bastard didn’t need to have his hands anywhere near his brother. But Bobby had reached and grabbed his arm and then sent him a small glare to stop him.

Sam nodded after taking a sip of his water. It wasn’t just avoidance that made him leave the conversation. He really did need a drink to try to calm down get a little less anxious. It worked a little, but not a lot.

“Can we sit back down and talk, Sam,” Dean asked.

“Yeah, okay,” Sam said before he began walking a little. He was still kind of anxious though, so he wasn’t able to concentrate so well on what he was doing and stumbled as he hit a wall. 

Gabriel got to Sam before he fell and steadied him. “Hey, slow down a bit, kiddo. You alright?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Sam said. Clearly this conversation with Dean had him really on edge, which wouldn’t be so much of a problem if he didn’t have to rely on concentration to get to where he needed to.

“Come on, I’m gonna get you to the kitchen table,” Gabriel said as he led him over.

Dean glared at the archangel and he couldn’t help but be a little upset even at Sam. Dean had tried to help his brother just a few minutes ago, but Sam wouldn’t let him. Yet, he seemed to have no problem letting Gabriel, the asshole that they’d once hunted and who had actually killed Dean over and over, to help him. And, yeah, Dean knew that his brother probably wasn’t happy with him and that might be why he wasn’t accepting his help, but did Sam really hate him so much that the damned Trickster rated better than him?

“There’s a chair right next to you,” Gabriel said. 

Sam felt for it and then sat down. Then he took a sit of his water.

Gabriel sat next to Sam while Dean came over and sat across from him and Bobby pushed his chair up next to Dean. 

“Where were we?” Sam asked, though he knew exactly where they’d been.

“Uh, I wanted to say that I’m sorry for the way things ended between us before,” Dean said.

Gabriel bit his lip to keep himself from commenting about how he felt about Dean’s well timed apology. He did believe Dean was sorry to a point, but he wondered if he would still sorry if Sam hadn’t been through the hell he had. 

Sam as well questioned the timing. He wasn’t sure he believed his brother was really sorry or that he even should be. He believed Dean’s anger was justified and that it had not gone away. He was saying this because he felt sorry for him.

“I shouldn’t have let you go. I should’ve been around to protect you,” Dean said guiltily.

Sam flinched. His brother’s words just added to his fears. Dean was only sorry because of what happened to him. “We… We both thought it was a good idea for me to go.”

“Yeah, well, I should’ve stopped you, like you expected me too,” Dean said.

“You didn’t want me around,” Sam said, unable to keep the hurt from his voice.

“No, Sammy, that’s not it. I was just pissed,” Dean said.

“You pretty much said you were better off without me. You said you spent too much time worrying about me. You don’t want me in your life. That’s fine,” Sam said. Well, it wasn’t fine. It hurt like hell that Dean wanted nothing to do with him, but he understood it. He’d done something unforgivable.

“No! Don’t say that! I spent the last month looking for you. Ever since I found out what those dicks did to you!” Dean growled. His anger rose as he thought about what those pieces of garbage did to his brother.

Dean probably didn’t realize that he’d just made Sam’s point. His brother only wanted to find him after learning what happened to him. It was obligation and pity that made him want him back. “Well, I’m fine, so you can stop worrying and go back to hunting.”

“What the hell, man? You think I’m just gonna leave you. You think this is just about making sure you’re still alive?” Dean asked in disbelief. He knew he screwed up, but was this really what his brother thought of him?

“No, I think you’re determined to take care of me because you think you have to, but you don’t. You don’t need to take care of me. I’m getting used to this more and more every day. Just go back to your life,” Sam said. It killed him to say it because he loved Dean and wanted them to have a relationship again. He’d even been prepared before he came here to go back with Dean if he asked just so he could free Gabriel from the burden, but now that it was actually happening, he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t even stomach the idea of being Dean’s obligation.

“Stop it! God, this isn’t about me taking pity on you! I want you with me, Sam. You should be with me. You certainly shouldn’t be with this asshole,” Dean said as he directed a glare at Gabriel.

Sam felt anger rise for the first time today. He knew he deserved every bit of anger Dean wanted to throw at him, but Gabriel didn’t. “Don’t talk about him like that! He saved my life!”

“Sam, you don’t need to defend me,” Gabriel said, though he couldn’t help but be touched that he was. He had no idea that in Sam’s eyes, we warranted being defended to Dean.

“Yes, I do. He doesn’t have the right to judge you,” Sam said firmly.

“I think I do after he killed me so many times,” Dean bit out. He was very put out by the fact that his brother trusted this guy and would actually prefer to stay with him than Dean.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “You didn’t feel a thing. You don’t even remember it. That was between Sam and me and we’ve worked through it, so get over it.”

“Gabriel saved my life, Dean. He answered my prayers when no one could’ve blamed him for leaving me to rot. When I refused to go back to you, he made me stay with him rather than sending me out on my own with no knowledge of how to take care of myself in my current state. I’m not gonna let you disrespect him,” Sam said firmly.

Dean visibly flinched at his brother’s words. Sam had just admitted that he preferred to stay with an archangel they’d both hated than go back to him and now it seemed that Sam had more trust and respect for Gabriel than he did for him. “I…I’m going for a walk.”

“Dean,” Bobby started when the younger man started to get up.

“No! I need to get out of here for a little bit,” Dean said before quickly heading for the door.


	18. Chapter 18

Gabriel watched Sam from the window as the young hunter sat outside on the front porch. He’d excused himself right after Dean left, saying he needed some air. He was obviously hurting from the conversation with his brother. 

Gabriel wanted to throttle Dean. Even now, he was still acting like a selfish dick. The way he stormed out looking put out was a prime example. He acted like Sam had created some sin for defending Gabriel and for trusting him over Dean himself. It was Dean’s own fault that Sam couldn’t trust him. He needed to get over himself.

While Gabriel was watching Sam, Bobby was watching Gabriel. He didn’t really know what to make of him. Before today, he only saw this guy as an evil trickster, but that was not the man he saw today with Sam. It wasn’t an archangel either, though admittedly, Bobby had never met one of those before today. All he saw today was a man who had Sam’s back. He saw that now as the archangel watched Sam too. He was clearly concerned for him as he watched him.

Sam felt the same way, Bobby knew. The way he’d spoken to Dean right before he left was proof. Before that, Sam had been nervous, even if resigned. He was hurt and scared of being rejected, so much so that he just wanted Dean to leave him. He seemed to think it would happen anyway and wanted to get it over with. But the second Dean went after Gabriel, Sam had come alive. He’d defended the archangel ferociously. Not only did he not hate this man, he cared for him deeply. Bobby had a feeling that no matter what happened, Gabriel would not be leaving Sam’s life anytime soon.

Feeling eyes on him, Gabriel turned around to see Bobby staring at him. “Didn’t anyone teach you that’s impolite to stare?”

“What would you know about what’s polite?” Bobby retorted. It wasn’t said nastily though. His tone was relatively friendly. 

Gabriel smirked. “I can be polite when I want. I just usually choose not to.”

“Same here,” Bobby said before looking towards the door, where Sam was sitting not far behind. “One month and he already trusts and cares for you. You’re good.”

“Not really. Well, of course I’m good. I’m amazing. But I didn’t have to do much in this instances. All I did was help him, and treat him like a person while I was helping him,” Gabriel said with a bit of irritation.

Bobby looked down guiltily. He hadn’t treated Sam the way Dean did. He never made him feel unwelcome or told him he couldn’t be trusted. But he never went out of his way to make Sure Sam still knew he was wanted, and he’d had on occasion made his own remarks that might have dragged the younger man down, like saying he deserved a medal for not turning on Sam. He was just as responsible as Dean. “There’s no excuse for the way Sam was treated.”

“You’re right, there isn’t. Telling Sam he screwed up is one thing. I even told him that. But metaphorically beating him over the head with it doesn’t change what happened. All that managed to do was destroy his self-esteem, convinced him he deserved to be blinded,” Gabriel said.

Bobby nodded, remembering Sam telling him just that. He hated that Sam felt that way. Nothing Sam could ever did warranted what happened to him, and it broke Bobby’s heart that his boy could actually think differently. “We screwed up.”

“Well, it really wasn’t you, was it? It was Winchester. He’s the one that decided to act like a holier than thou jackass. And it seems he can’t stop acting that way,” Gabriel grumbled. 

Bobby wanted to, but he couldn’t really say anything to defend Dean. The way he’d acted today was childish. He’d stormed out because he was hurt that his brother turned to someone other than him for help, someone Dean didn’t like. Well, that was too damn bad. Bobby wasn’t the biggest fan of the Trickster/archangel either, but the man had saved Sam’s life and had helped him every day after that. They needed to be grateful for that and grateful that there was someone Sam felt he could turn to. Bobby couldn’t understand why Dean couldn’t’ get that, especially after how afraid he was that Sam was in the hands of Lucifer or another angel like Zachariah. This whole thing could’ve been much worse. “Thank you for everything you’ve done. I’m glad he wasn’t alone with all this. I know how hard a disability can be.”

“Yeah, about that. I can fix it. I can make that chair of yours useless,” Gabriel said. 

Bobby stared at Gabriel for a few minutes, as if he was contemplating what to do. Then he uttered a response that even he would’ve called crazy a few months ago. “No.”

Gabriel looked surprised at the answer for a minute and then simply rolled his eyes. Despite his spoken gratitude, the hunter apparently still didn’t trust him enough to let him help him. “What do you think I’m gonna do to you? If I wanted to hurt or kill you, I wouldn’t even have to touch you to make it happen.”

“That’s not it. Believe me, I would’ve welcomed your healing touch after this first happened. Hell, I would’ve let the devil himself heal me if he offered,” Bobby said. He had nothing against Gabriel healing him, other than it just wasn’t right, not when he couldn’t do a damn thing to help Sam.

“Oh,” Gabriel said as realization hit. This was not about who did the healing. This was about Sam. “Making yourself a martyr isn’t going to make Sam see again.”

“I know that, but how right is it for me to get to walk when he’ll spend the rest of his life in darkness. Now, they said I’d never walk again. I can live with my disability, just like he has to,” Bobby said. 

“It’s not your fault I can’t heal Sam. Sam would never see it that it is and he’d never resent you for getting the miracle he can’t. But if you refuse it, I promise you, it’ll eat him alive,” Gabriel said. He knew Sam well. The kid would not respond well to Bobby’s refusal to be healed. “He’s gonna ask me to heal you. I’ll have to tell him you declined and then he will know why.”

Bobby hadn’t thought about that. Gabriel was right. Sam was smart. He would know why Bobby wouldn’t allow himself to be healed and then he’d hate himself for it. Sam already had enough he was needlessly blaming himself for. Bobby would not add himself to the problem. “Alright, do it.”

Gabriel walked over and bent down slightly. He placed his hand on one of Bobby’s legs and it twitched seconds later. 

Bobby stepped out of the chair a moment later. “Thanks.”

Just then, Sam walked back into the house. 

“Hey. You alright?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah, sorry. I just needed a few minutes,” Sam said. 

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for,” Bobby said firmly as he walked over and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“Bobby, is that you? How are you touching my shoulder? How’d you walk over?” Sam asked.

“I healed him,” Gabriel said.

Bobby looked at Sam intently, waiting for the younger man’s face to twist with bitterness and maybe even some anger. He wouldn’t blame Sam one bit for it. But it never happened.

Sam slowly started smiling. “Good. Thanks, Gabriel.

“You’re glad,” Bobby commented.

“Of course. What? Did you think I’d be upset because I can’t be healed? You didn’t make me blind, Bobby. You deserved to be healed,” Sam said. Bobby didn’t deserve what happened to him. It had happened because he was possessed by a demon trying to gain information after the apocalypse was started. So, no, Bobby didn’t deserve his injury the way Sam did.

Bobby caught the double meaning to his boy’s words. “Neither did you.”

Sam was quiet for a minute and then cleared his throat. “So Dean’s probably not gonna come back for a while. He’s probably hitting another bar,” Sam said. He knew his brother well. Dean was upset and when he was, he chose to deal with it by drinking, and he wouldn’t care that it was before noon. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here when he comes back.

“Sam, you don’t have to go anywhere. You will always be welcome here, and I should’ve told you that before,” Bobby said guiltily. Clearly Sam didn’t even feel welcomed by Bobby, otherwise he would’ve called him when the worst happened. Bobby couldn’t blame him for it either. It was his own actions and inactions that caused Sam to lose faith in him.

Sam could guess what Bobby was thinking. “Bobby, I didn’t ask to come to you because you would’ve had to tell Dean. I didn’t want him to know. He would’ve either felt obligated to help me or he would’ve rejected me and wanted you to do the same. It wouldn’t have been fair to make you choose. And to be honest, it was easier to be around someone I didn’t particularly like at first than a family member who’d both feel sorry for me and was still angry at me.”

“Sam, you’re wrong about Dean. He was an ass today, especially regarding Gabriel, but when he found out what those bastards had done to you, all he wanted was to find you help you through it. He hated himself for the way he treated you,” Bobby told him.

“He feels bad because of what happened to me. He wouldn’t otherwise and I don’t blame him. Deep down, he still hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you!” Bobby said in a firm and slightly raised tone. It just killed him that Sam felt his brother hated him, and even more so that Sam felt he deserved to be hated. 

“He doesn’t want me around, and I can’t be around if he doesn’t. I thought I could. I thought I should. Before I got here, I was determined to convince myself of whatever Dean told me and stay with him, but I just can’t. Eventually, I’ll hear the resentment in Dean’s voice and I can’t deal with that. If he doesn’t resent me enough because of the apocalypse, he will for feeling like he has to take care of his handicapped brother,” Sam explained. 

Bobby sighed. He wasn’t going to get any further with Sam right now. The kid had come here prepared for rejection, probably so he wouldn’t get his hopes up, and he couldn’t hear anything else right now. “Alright, if you have to go, I get it, but at least give your brother a chance to prove you wrong. Don’t cut us out. At least call once and a while.”

“Okay. I…I can give you my new number too,” Sam said.

“I got it,” Gabriel said before snapping his fingers. A pen and piece of paper appeared in his hands.

“You could’ve just gone into the living room to find that stuff,” Bobby said.

Gabriel shrugged and went over to the kitchen table for something hard to write on.

“Bobby, I’m sorry for worrying you. If I had known you were worried, I would’ve called you,” Sam said.

“I know. You just make sure to call now, and to answer when I call you. I’d appreciate a few visits too.,” Bobby said.

“I promise.”

“And you seem to be happy where you are, but if it ever happens that you’re not anymore and need somewhere else to go, you’ll always have a place here,” Bobby said before pulling Sam into his arms. He wasn’t much for hugs and all that crap, but after worrying about this kid for over a month, he was making an exception.

Sam was caught off guard by the hug, but he quickly recovered and hugged his surrogate father back. “Thank you, Bobby.

Bobby pulled away just in time for Gabriel to come over and hand him a piece of paper. “Thanks. You damn well better take care of my boy. Archangel or not, I will find a way to kick your ass if you hurt him.”

Gabriel chuckled. “Glad to hear it,” he said before turning to Sam. “You sure about this, kid. I could go find your brother so you can at least tell him you’re going.”

Sam shook his head. “That would be a disaster. Dean would put up a big fight and I don’t think I could deal with that right now.”

“Okay.”

“Bye, Bobby,” Sam said.

“See you later, boy,” Bobby said.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and they both disappeared.

Once they were gone, Bobby grabbed his keys from the kitchen table. He was going to find Dean. He was going to pull that little idjit’s head out of his ass if it was the last thing he did.


	19. Chapter 19

Bobby found Dean in less than an hour, and true to his word, dragged him back to the house. Sam’s assumption about Dean heading back to the bar turned out to be right. Bobby had found him drinking at a bar about ten minutes from his house. He wasn’t drunk, but he was sure trying to get that way.

Dean wrenched himself away from Bobby as they made it inside. He’d been surprised when Bobby showed up, especially as he was walking. That quickly turned to anger though when the old hunter literally dragged him out of there like a teenager caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. He got doubly pissed when Bobby told him he’d let the Trickster take Sam away. “What the hell, Bobby?”

“I could ask you that!” Bobby yelled as he slammed the door shut. “What’s the matter with you, Dean? You brother came here to talk to you and rather than deal with the problems the two of you had, you go out and try to get hammered again!

“I tried to talk to him, Bobby! He didn’t want to listen to anything I said! He wouldn’t even let me help him get a glass of water! But he had no problem letting the Trickster help him, not to mention that he defended him any chance he got!” Dean yelled bitterly.

“Quit being a child! What were you expecting anyway? Did you think you could make everything better with one conversation? Sam’s been through hell the last couple of months and you and I are both responsible for part of it. You really thought it would be so easy to say sorry and then it would all go away?” Bobby asked in disbelief. 

“I didn’t think he’d prefer to take up with something we’ve hunted more than me!” Dean yelled again. More than that, he didn’t think his brother would trust someone that had once killed Dean like a thousand times. Didn’t Sam give a damn about him at all.

“Forget about the archangel! This isn’t about him! This is about you and Sam! If you don’t pull your head out of your ass, you will lose your brother completely!” Bobby warned.

“What am I supposed to do, Bobby? He won’t even listen to me,” Dean said.

“Why should he? What have you done lately to make him believe a word you say?” Bobby asked. He didn’t blame Sam one bit for not believing Dean was sincere, despite trying to convince him of it. Sam had every reason to be skeptical.

Dean flinched and then brushed past Bobby to head into the kitchen. He collapsed in one of the chairs at the table. 

Bobby followed him and sat across from him.

“I get that I screwed up, Bobby. I pushed Sam away and he ended up tortured and blinded because of it. I will live with that for the rest of my life,” Dean said, trying and failing to keep the emotion from his voice. 

“No. Whatever you may be guilty of, you’re not responsible for what happened to Sam at the hands of those assholes. Sam doesn’t blame you for that either,” Bobby told him. Honestly though, who Sam did blame was even worse. He held himself accountable, believing he deserved it. That was just screwed up.

“He just doesn’t want anything to do with me,” Dean said miserably.

Bobby huffed irritably. “No, you idjit! He thinks you don’t want anything to do with him. You didn’t help that by running away like a child!”

“I didn’t know what to do! He wouldn’t listen to me and then he went on to defend that evil little asshole! He trusts him more than me,” Dean said petulantly.

Bobby nodded after a second. Trying to appease Dean on the subject wasn’t going to help. He needed to see the situation for what it was. He needed to know that his actions caused his brother to lose faith in him. “Yeah, he does. You’ve got no one but yourself to blame for that. You treated Sam like crap the last time he was with you. You held what he did against him until he hated himself and believed you did to. I wasn’t much better. So, yeah, you lost something with him.

“I get that it’s my fault that I lost his faith and trust, but why so much that he trusts some supernatural thing more?” Dean asked. That was the part that hurt. He knew he earned Sam’s opinion of him, but not so much that something like the Trickster should be able to replace him. 

“Because that ‘supernatural thing’ did what you didn’t, what I didn’t. He’s been there for him for the last month. He not only saved his life, but he gave him a place to stay when Sam didn’t think he had anywhere else to turn. He told him he made a mistake without holding it against him forever,” Bobby said.

“He’s using him,” Dean argued. “And what were you thinking letting him take Sam away again.”

“First of all, I’d like to see you stop an archangel from doing anything. Second, Sam wanted to go and I wasn’t going to stop him. And I think you want Gabriel to be using him. You don’t like that he has someone else to turn to, and an angel no less. Though let me just point out that it’s been okay for you. You know, it’s unbelievably selfish of you to get pissed because your brother has someone to turn to when he can’t turn to you. Would you prefer he be alone while he’s dealing with this life altering injury?” Bobby asked annoyed.

“No, I want him to come back,” Dean said.

“Well, that’s not gonna happen right now,” Bobby said.

“If he’d just listen…”

“Again, you’ve given him no reason to listen to you. Now he came here expecting you to either kick him out or accept him out of pity. He won’t allow himself to believe anything else right now because he doesn’t wanna get hurt. The worst part is he doesn’t even blame you. He thinks you’d be justified in rejecting him,” Bobby said sadly.

Dean shuddered slightly. That was unbelievably messed up. Dean understood now how badly he screwed up with his brother. Sam shouldn’t think for a second that it was okay how he treated him. Though when Dean thought back on how his little brother would look and act right after Lucifer was released, he knew his brother did think that. “I…I have to tell him he’s wrong.”

“And what difference do you think it’ll make now. He’s not ready to even consider believing you don’t hate him right now or that he doesn’t deserve that hate. I’ve tried and I know Gabriel has too. Hell, we can’t even convince that he doesn’t deserve what’s happened to him,” Bobby said.

Dean looked at Bobby in horror. “He... He thinks…”

“Yeah. He thinks he deserved to be blinded, that it’s somehow a punishment,” Bobby said sadly.

“Well, we have to do something. We have to convince him he’s wrong,” Dean said urgently. This couldn’t go on. He wouldn’t allow his brother to think that he deserved what those bastards did to him.

“Yeah, but it’s not gonna happen overnight. Making him see that is going to be a process,” Bobby said.

“I have to talk to him,” Dean said.

“I have a cell number for him, but you’re not getting it today,” Bobby said. He put his hand up when Dean went to argue. “Sam needs time to get his bearings after today and you need to get yourself together before you talk to him again. And when you do talk to him again, I suggest you leave any negative talk about Gabriel out of the conversation.”

“I can do that now. Come on, Bobby, give me the number,” Dean said with a small edge to his voice. 

“No,” was all Bobby said before he heard one of his phones go off. He immediately got up and walked away to answer it. It seemed it was time for him to get to work.


	20. Chapter 20

Sam made his way downstairs from his bedroom.  After getting back from Bobby’s, he made his way upstairs and promptly passed out.  He could only guess he’d been out for a while because he woke up pretty hungry.

After making it downstairs, Sam headed for the kitchen to get a sandwich or something.  He heard movement coming from the kitchen before he even got there.  “Gabriel?”

“Yup.  Good to see that you’re up.  I’m about to start dinner,” Gabriel said.

“It’s that late?” Sam asked surprised.  He figured he’d slept for quite a bit, but he had to be asleep for a good four or five hours if it was already dinner time.  

“Yeah, it’s just after five,” Gabriel said.

“Damn,” Sam muttered before going to the fridge.  He felt inside for some juice.  Once he believed he had the right thing, he took it out and felt for the label just to be sure.  Gabriel had labeled everything in the fridge in Braille for him.  It was done partially to help him figure out what was what and partially as a learning tool to help him learn to read that way better.  

“Well, you were pretty tired.  I know you didn’t sleep well last night,” Gabriel said.  He’d heard the kid toss and turn all night.  He’d been very anxious about the meeting with Dean and Bobby.

“Yeah,” Sam said before reaching into the cabinet next to the fridge and taking out a glass.  He almost had the house and where everything was in it down pat.  It wasn’t a hundred percent perfect, but for the most part, he was able to move easily around now and get what he wanted without his sight.  

“I’m sure you’re pretty hungry, so let’s make it as simple as possible tonight.  I’ll make a couple of burgers and some vegetables,” Gabriel suggested.  

“Yeah, that sounds good.  I’ll help,” Sam said before reaching back into the fridge and taking out the burger meat.  Then he grabbed a plate from the cabinet.  He ripped it open and started shaping the meat into patties.

Gabriel, meanwhile, walked around Sam to the Freezer and pulled out some frozen vegetables.  “So how you doing?”

“I’m good,” Sam said.

“You sure?  Things didn’t exactly go great today,” Gabriel said as he dumped the vegetables in a pot and put on the stove.

Sam shrugged.  “They went the way I expected.”  Well, for the most part they went the way he expected.  He had been planning to force himself to accept Dean’s pity and go back so that Gabriel didn’t have to take care of him anymore, but he just couldn’t bring himself to.  That part though, he was selfishly glad for.  The truth was he didn’t want to go.  He didn’t want to go back with Dean because he knew his brother didn’t really want him and also because he liked where he was right now.  He liked being with Gabriel where there was no judgment and no pity.

“Well, it shouldn’t have been what you expected,” Gabriel said before taking the plate of patties from Sam.  He rinsed them and then grabbed some spices from on top of the stove and started sprinkling the meat with them.  “You know, you didn’t need to defend me to your brother.  It probably made things worse with him.”

“No, it didn’t.  He already hated me.  He just pretended not to because he feels sorry for me,” Sam said.

“Oh, Sam, I don’t think much of your brother right now, but I don’t think for a second that he hates you,” Gabriel said.  Dean had acted like a selfish, childish ass today, but Gabriel didn’t see hatred in him.  Dean did not hate Sam.

Sam shrugged, a sign that he didn’t agree, but didn’t want to argue about it.  “It doesn’t matter.  I did have to defend you.  He was wrong to speak of you that way.”

“Well, not too long ago, you agreed with everything he said,” Gabriel pointed out as he started frying the burgers.

Sam looked down guiltily.  “I know.  I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.  The only thing you knew about me was that I was someone that hurt people and then hurt you.  True, you could’ve done your research into the kind of people I was hurting, but you are a hunter, so I didn’t really expect it.  You had good reason not to trust me, and not just because you were taught not to,” Gabriel said.

“Well, I know better now.  You saved my life and you’ve helped me get used to living without my sight.  You didn’t deserve the way Dean treated you.  I get that he hates me.  I’ll take whatever he wants to throw at me, but you don’t deserve it,” Sam said.  

“I appreciate you saying that, but you don’t deserve it either.  I wish I could get you to understand that.  One mistake doesn’t make you irredeemable, Sam.  A good portion of it wasn’t even your fault,” Gabriel said.  

“I trusted a demon.  That is my fault, and incredibly stupid.”

“I’ll give you that one.  It’s not smart to trust a demon, but it’s not like she just showed up and you started trusting her.  She worked to get your trust.  She gave you a knife to kill demons, she seemingly turned against all other demons in an attempt to hurt you, and she claimed to want to help you when your brother was killed.  She used that weak point in your life to really gain control of you,” Gabriel said.

Sam nodded.  “I was in a really bad frame of mind back then, but I still should’ve known not to drink demon blood.  I should’ve known it even more after Dean came back.  I had no excuse then, except that I desperately wanted to believe that what was inside me wasn’t evil.  That my dad was wrong when he told Dean he might have to kill me one day.”

“What?  You’re father said that?” Gabriel asked through gritted teeth, barely keeping the rage out of his voice.  No wonder Sam had such a low opinion of himself.  Gabriel had assumed it was Dean that did the damage to Sam after Lucifer was released, but it had just become apparent that their father had likely started that spiral.  

“Yeah.  I don’t know how much he knew, but he told Dean he might have to kill me one day.  It’s obvious to me that he at least knew about the demon blood and probably figured I’d turn evil from it,” Sam said.  There was hurt and guilt laced in his voice.  He was hurt that his own father would think that of him and he felt guilty because his dad had been right.

Gabriel was disgusted.  If John Winchester were still alive, he’d have rectified that immediately.  What kind of parent talked about murdering their own kid?  How could Winchester even think so little of his own son anyway.  Yeah, demon blood was toxic, but that didn’t mean the person forced fed it would turn out evil.  It all depended on the person.  Sam was strong-willed and good.  Winchester should’ve known that.  “Your father’s a bastard.  No matter what he knew, he had no business putting that kind of thought in your head or Dean’s.”

Sam shrugged.  “He was right.”

“No, he wasn’t!  You are not evil.  If you were, you wouldn’t have cared less that you accidentally set Lucifer free.  You wouldn’t care about anything. You did care. Even when you were high on demon blood, your intentions were still good. You were trying to protect the world.”

Sam shook his head. “No, I wasn't. I mean, sure, I wanted to stop Lucifer from being from being released, but that's not why I went after Lilith. I went after her because I wanted revenge. I wanted her to pay for what she did to Dean. That and the demon blood clouded my judgment with Ruby.”

“Alright, let me ask you something. If you'd known how it would end, would you have still gone after her? Would you have allowed Lucifer to be released so you could have your revenge?” Gabriel asked.

“No,” Sam said with absolutely no hesitation. He hated Lilith and he wanted to hurt her, but if he thought for a moment that he was putting the world at risk, he wouldn't have even considered it.

“That's why you're not evil. Because you would never think of purposely harming others for yourself. You screwed up, kiddo, badly, but you're still one of the best people I've ever come across,” Gabriel said.

“Sure,” Sam said, though his tone made it very clear that he wasn't convinced.

Gabriel sighed and went back to fixing dinner. He could tell that his words had not convinced Sam, but he chose to drop it for now. Getting rid of Sam's self-hatred was going to take time. “You gonna talk to your brother again?”

“If he'll talk to me. He's obviously not that interested right now. I kind of expected my phone to ring off the hook,” Sam said. He had mixed feelings on that. He wasn't really ready to talk to Dean, so a huge part of him was relieved that Dean hadn't called him, but on the other hand, it seemed like proof that Dean had no real desire to speak to him.

“Well, if you were right and he went to the bar, he's probably still there getting hammered or back at Singer's,” Gabriel said as he started frying the burgers.

“Maybe,” Sam conceded.

“Like I said earlier, your brother is on my last nerve right now, but I think you should give him a chance. He's acting like a dick, but he does care about you,” Gabriel said.

“I'm sorry,” Sam said.

Gabriel frowned and turned to the hunter in confusion. “For what?”

“I tried. I thought I could go back even knowing Dean wouldn't really want me around, but when I got there and started talking to him, I just couldn't. I couldn't take his pity and pretending to care,” Sam said.

Gabriel didn't even attempt to comment on what Sam believed his brother thought of him this time because that was not important right now. What was important was that Sam was telling him that he had planned to force himself into a situation that had potential to make him miserable. “Are you telling me you were going to go back to your brother even though you believed you would be unhappy and barely tolerated? Why would you do that?”

Sam shifted a bit uncomfortably. “I...I Just thought I should.”

“Don't give me that half answer. Tell me why,” Gabriel demanded.

“You should have your life back,” Sam blurted out quickly.

Gabriel just stood there for a minute, unable to form words. He had no idea that Sam had thought that. He would've corrected it immediately if he'd known.

“Gabriel?” Sam asked nervously after a moment. The archangel hadn't said a word in several moments. 

Gabriel snapped his fingers to use his Grace to make sure dinner didn't burn and then took Sam by the shoulder. “Come here,” he said before leading him over to the table and sitting him down. He then sat right next to him. “You listen to me. If I didn't want you here, you wouldn't be.”

“But...”

“No! There are no buts, no arguments! You are here because I want you here. I didn't have to bring you here. I could've done as you asked and dumped you in a motel room, or I could've left you outside a hospital. I didn't do either of those things,” Gabriel said.

“Because you're a good person,” Sam said.

Gabriel couldn't help but laugh. “Really? There are so many that would disagree with you. You would've disagreed not too long ago. I spent centuries as a Pagan God doling out justice as creatively and most of the time as cruelly as possible, and I spent even more time as an archangel pretty much doing the same thing and worse. You really think what I did for you I'd do for anyone. I might have saved someone else in your position, but I wouldn't have brought them back to my house. I wouldn't have put them up in my bedroom, took care of them, and taught them to live with a permanent disability.”

“Why'd you do it for me then?” Sam asked. 

Gabriel sighed. “At first, I didn't know why. I was doing it without even understanding it, especially considering how pissed I was at you for not listening to me during Mystery Spot and being stupid enough to drink demon blood and trust a demon. I guess I was doing it because even through all that, I knew you were one of the best people my father ever created. But I kept doing it because you started to matter to me.” He didn't really like admitting that last part because him and feelings didn't exactly mix, especially since he was pretty sure Sam didn't feel the same way, at least not to the same extent, but Sam needed to hear it. He needed to get that Gabriel wasn't doing this out of pity.

“Really?” Sam asked with surprise and a bit of hope.

“Yes. I like having you here, Sam. Do not think for one second that I have you here out of pity and don't you ever think of leaving again unless it is something that you want. You got me?” Gabriel asked in a firm tone.

Sam nodded.

“Good,” Gabriel said before briefly grabbing the man's hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

Sam felt goosebumps all over his body, as he always did when Gabriel touched him so intimately, and he wondered again what that meant. It was how he used to feel when he'd touch Jess that way. He shouldn't have that reaction from a guy. Because he wasn't interested in Gabriel that way. He wasn't gay, was he?


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, Sam was in the kitchen eating breakfast with Gabriel when his phone rang. He immediately felt around for it and picked it up. “Answer call,” he said loudly. Gabriel had made his phone voice activated so he'd be able to use it easier. “Hello?”

“Hey, Sammy,” the voice of his brother came through the phone.

Sam stiffened a bit, not expecting his brother's call. He probably should've. The only person who had his number, aside from of course Gabriel, was Bobby. So it would either be him or Dean. “Hey.” 

Gabriel, meanwhile, got up and left the room to give Sam some privacy.

“Bobby gave me your number. I would've called you yesterday, but the old man wouldn't give me the number until this morning,” Dean said sounding really irritated about that fact.

Sam chuckled slightly. “He probably wanted you to cool off.”

“Whatever. So how are you?” Dean asked. 

“I'm okay. We were just having breakfast. Then we head to the library for this stupid Braille reading crap,” Sam grumbled. He really hated learning Braille. It was just so difficult. Reading had never come so difficult for him, even as a child. Actually, he wasn't sure learning anything had been so hard. He usually found learning anything quite easy. This was not.

Dean wasn't thrilled about the 'we' comment. “Oh. I guess that's what you were doing at the library when Bobby's friend spotted you.”

“Yeah, we go everyday,” Sam said.

“Well, you kind of do need to to learn it if you're going to read, and we all know your geekish need to read,” Dean joked half-heartedly. 

There was silence between the two before spoke again a couple of minutes later. “So what are you up to?”

“Nothing today. I'm probably just gonna give my baby a work up,” Dean said before deciding to dive into the heavy stuff. “Look, I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't handle things well.”

“Gabriel didn't deserve the things you said,” Sam said.

Dean could argue that point. In fact, he wanted to argue it, but he remembered what Bobby said about not bad mouthing the Trickster to Sam. It wouldn't do any good. “I'm sorry. I was a dick. I've been a dick for months. Look, I know things are going okay for you right now where you are, but you know, you could come back. You know you're welcome here,” Dean said.

“I know. Bobby already told me he'd be glad to have me there,” Sam said. 

“I wouldn't either. I want you to come back,” Dean said. He knew he had to say it because Sam didn't believe Dean wanted him around. He hated that his brother thought that, but he also knew it was his fault. 

Sam didn't believe him. Dean kept saying he wanted him to come back, but he only started saying it after Sam got blinded. He felt that Dean must think he was obligated and didn't really want him around. But he decided not to say that to Dean because he didn't want to start an argument. “It's okay, I'm find here. You'll be hunting anyway and Bobby has his job helping other hunters. It's better that I stay here.”

“That's not why you wanna stay,” Dean said.

“Dean, please...”

“Look, I'm not trying to start a fight, but I know the real reason you're doing this. “You don't think I want you here, but I do. You're my brother. I love you, Sammy. I don't say it often, but I do. And you don't believe that. You think I've turned my back on you,” Dean said. 

“No. I think you don't want to deal with me anymore, and I don't think you're wrong to feel that way. What I did was horrible. I deserve everything that's happened. I deserve your hate,” Sam said, his voice close to cracking.

“I don't hate you, Sam. Please, don't say that again. And don't say you deserved any of this crap either! What happened to you is not your fault. It's not some kind of punishment. Bobby told me that's what you think, but it's not true. What happened to you happened because you had the back luck of running into a couple of sick bastards, who apparently forgot that they were supposed to target monsters, not humans. I swear, if they were still alive, I'd kill them myself, after inflicting the same amount of pain on them as they did you!” Dean said firmly. 

“Dean, I don't wanna talk about this, okay? Look, I have to go. We have to get ready to go soon,” Sam said.

Dean sighed. He wanted to push more, but he knew if he did, Sam would likely hang up anyway and maybe even ignore his calls. “Okay. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright. Bye,” Sam said before hanging up.

Gabriel walked back in a couple of minutes later. “How did it go?”

“You know already. Even in another room, we both know you could hear every word,” Sam said.

“True. Well, he didn't act like a complete idiot this time. I guess that's progress,” Gabriel said. 

“I almost prefer how he was before I left. At least I knew it was how he really felt,” Sam said sadly.

“Sam...”

“I don't wanna talk about Dean anymore,” Sam cut off.

“Okay, fine. Are you done eating. You wanna get ready to go?” Gabriel asked as he rested his hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam felt it again. That same exhilaration he felt every time Gabriel touched him, and once again, he wondered what it meant. He quickly pushed it aside though, not wanting to dwell on it. Instead, he grabbed his cane from the floor and stood up. “Yeah, just let me change.”

“Sure. I'll be in the living room,” Gabriel said.

Sam nodded and headed for the stairs. 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Michael was angrily pacing the floor of his office while his brother, Raphael was leaned against his desk. Raphael had just told him that Sam Winchester was apparently missing and that the last they knew of him was him praying to them after being tortured. This had all happened over a month ago and he was just being told. “Why am I just hearing about this now?!”

“Because I saw no point to bother you with nonsense,” Raphael said simply.

Michael stopped and glared at his brother. “Nonsense? You just told me that Samuel Winchester's last known whereabouts was a basement that was covered in his blood! How is that nonsense?!

“The humans that tortured him were killed by one of us. I assumed it was either Castiel, in which case, it was inconsequential since he would've brought the boy back to his brother, or Lucifer, which would help us. If Lucifer had him, he would simply 'encourage' him to say yes,” Raphael explained.

“If it was Lucifer, it would've been done by now. Now human could withstand torture for this long, especially when inflicted by an archangel,” Michael said.

“And the last hunt Dean Winchester was on was solo. I've tracked his movements, after the fact, obviously, since Castiel saw fit to hide him from us,” Raphael said annoyed. He had basically had to search for monster attacks that the Winchesters might respond to, which wasn't as simple as one might think. There were actually quite many across the country. 

“So if it was not Lucifer or Castiel, who rescued Sam Winchester and why was he not immediately brought to us?” Michael asked.

“It was no one here. We've checked everyone. Whoever is responsible must be a fallen,” Raphael said.

“Find them,” Michael ordered.

“I am working on it,” Raphael said before standing up and heading for the door.


End file.
